


The Pain of Being Happy

by Remy_Writes5



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Beads, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Angst, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Boss Sirius, Boss/Employee Relationship, Cock Rings, Daddy Kink, Dom Sirius Black, Dom/sub, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Past Abuse, Personal Assistant Remus, Pining, Rimming, Sirius Black Speaks French, Smut, Spanking, Sub Remus Lupin, Suicide Attempt, Workplace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2020-12-28 00:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21128036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remy_Writes5/pseuds/Remy_Writes5
Summary: “You must be Remus,” Sirius said warmly, holding out his hand. His accent was so unbelievably posh that Remus felt like he was talking to a member of the Royal family. He wouldn’t be surprised if Sirius Black had some royal blood in him, although he doubted Sirius was the type to go on Ancestry.com, if the rumors about his relationship to his family were true.Remus nearly tripped over his own feet as he rushed over to shake. The corner of Sirius’ lips twitched but he didn’t let himself smile. Remus felt his cheeks tinge pink. It really was distracting how good-looking Sirius was. “Very nice to meet you, sir,” Remus said as evenly as possible.“Sir?” Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow. “My, my, how formal.”





	1. The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from a letter John Keats wrote to Fanny Brawne. I saw it on an Good Omens gifset and I thought it fit this story. I'm going to try and be good and post once a week. More tags might be added later. As always, thanks for reading! A special shoutout to Lexy for her words of encouragement! Slightly inspired by the film Secretary.

Remus rushed off the tube when it finally got to the station. He couldn’t believe he was late for his interview with Sirius Black. If he fucked this up he would never forgive himself. As a struggling post-grad with a mountain of student debt, becoming Sirius Black’s personal assistant was just about the best Remus could hope for. He hated to think his father had been right and that studying English Literature had been a huge waste of time and money. Unless he went back to school to get his teaching certification, his degree was mostly just a piece of paper he’d paid an inordinate amount of money for.

That’s why this job for Marauders, Inc. was perfect for him. A tech start up, the company designed mobile apps, most of which sat in the Most Popular category on both the Apple Store and Google Play. Remus didn’t have much an interest in mobile games or apps, still using his Iphone 6S, refusing to upgrade it because for one, he couldn’t afford it, and two because it still mostly worked fine. Sure, sometimes the camera wouldn’t turn on unless it was self-facing and the volume would sometimes go to the highest settings without any buttons being touched. But other than that it was a perfectly fine phone and Remus wasn’t fussed about having the newest technology.

It wasn’t like he needed knowledge of apps and games anyway. As a personal assistant he would be composing memos, maybe writing a few speeches, and doing a bunch of odd jobs. All of that was well within Remus' wheelhouse. He just had to get to the bloody interview in time and get the job. It paid – quite frankly – a jaw-dropping amount of money. Remus would be able to get his own flat and stop living with Frank and Alice, his friends from school. The two of them were already talking about getting married and Remus knew it was only a matter of time before they wanted the flat to themselves.

Remus checked his phone and felt his heart racing. He only had ten minutes to get to the interview and he knew the building Marauders, Inc. was in was absolutely massive, a giant skyscraper in the center of London. He was so utterly and completely fucked. There was no way he was going to get this job if he showed up late and he was _definitely _going to be late. Just another on the long list of reasons why Remus J. Lupin can’t have nice things.

Refusing to be defeated, Remus took off running, bumping into people on the sidewalk in his haste. By the time he got to the building he was a mess, sweaty and panting, He stopped at the main desk to ask a receptionist for the correct floor. He pushed the button for level 45 and took the time in the lift to organize himself. Straightening his tie, he wished he’d had the money to buy himself a new suit. This one he was wearing was the one his mum had bought him to wear to his University graduation. It still fit him fine, but just walking through the lobby Remus had felt horribly out of place amongst all the posh folks in their designer outfits. Even the ones who looked casual were wearing clothing Remus could never hope to afford.

As the lift doors opened, Remus tugged his fingers through his hair, trying to tame his unruly curls. He wasn’t sure if he had just made things better or worse. He stumbled out onto the 45th floor and glanced around. Everything was sleek and had a timeless feel to it. Remus recognized a Monet hanging in the foyer and could only assume it to be an original. The bright white walls and the glass made everything look open and bright, the mahogany wood acting is stark contrast. People were typing away at their computers, everything state of the art, and not a single person looked up as Remus walked through.

He found the door marked Sirius Black, C.E.O. and took a moment to compose himself before knocking. “Come in,” came a deep, husky voice from inside.

Remus pushed the door open to find Sirius Black. It was bizarre to think Sirius was only a few years older than Remus, having already accomplished so much. Sirius had come from old money, but had run away from home at the age of sixteen. The magazine articles Remus had read all implied there was some form of abuse going on that made Sirius leave. He had gone to live with his best friend, James Potter, where the two of them had spent their summer coming up with their first app. It had been called Animagus, where you took a personality quiz to discover what kind of animal you identified as. Once you got your Animgaus, you could customize it based on your tastes, and were given cute little emojis involving your animal that you could use in text conversations and snapchat. It had taken off, becoming a necessary staple on everyone’s phones. They’d ended up selling the app to Facebook for billions of dollars and started up their own company.

Remus thought of his own life and how little he had accomplished so far in comparison. He hoped he wouldn’t come across as inexperienced in front of Sirius Black. The man himself was striking, all high cheekbones and dark hair that fell to his shoulders in an effortless curl. His facial hair was perfectly groomed, kept short and trimmed. Everything about Sirius Black’s face was perfectly proportioned and Remus couldn’t find a single imperfection. As if he weren’t intimidated enough, the idea of fancying his boss was just a bit too much to handle at the moment. So Remus pushed the idea down deep and focused on just nailing the interview.

Sirius stood up and buttoned his grey suit jacket that Remus couldn’t help noticing matched his eyes (who even _had _grey eyes he couldn’t help wondering bitterly.) Remus stepped timidly inside the room and tried to muster up what little courage he had as he walked over to Sirius’ large desk. There was a Rembrandt’s Return of the Prodigal Son hanging on the wall. Unlike the rest of the floor, with its floor to ceiling glass and open floor plan, Sirius’ office was secluded. Private.

“You must be Remus,” Sirius said warmly, holding out his hand. His accent was so unbelievably posh that Remus felt like he was talking to a member of the Royal family. He wouldn’t be surprised if Sirius Black had some royal blood in him, although he doubted Sirius was the type to go on Ancestry.com, if the rumors about his relationship to his family were true.

Remus nearly tripped over his own feet as he rushed over to shake. The corner of Sirius’ lips twitched but he didn’t let himself smile. Remus felt his cheeks tinge pink. It really was distracting how good-looking Sirius was. “Very nice to meet you, sir,” Remus said as evenly as possible.

“Sir?” Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow. “My, my, how formal.”

Remus cringed internally, trying to keep his face passive. He was blowing this. He was absolutely blowing this. “Sorry, um, er, Mr. Black. Thank for seeing me. It really is an honour.”

Sirius sat down and Remus took the opportunity to sit as well, scrambling into one of the two chairs opposite Sirius. “So Remus, tell me a little about yourself. I like to hire people based on their personality. I figure anyone can learn how to do a job. I’ve got a stack of CVs that all say the same sorts of things. This job especially, considering how closely we’ll be working together, I think it’s important to hire someone I can get on with.”

Remus nodded as Sirius spoke. Once he was done, Sirius looked over at Remus expectantly. “Oh, um, well I just graduated from Uni last May. I worked a few odd jobs over the summer but nothing that really thrilled me.” Remus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It made it sound like he was picky and prone to jumping from job to job. “I just am looking for something that’s going to challenge me.”

“Well this job will certainly be challenging,” Sirius informed him, lounging back in his chair. “I’ve been reliably informed by several people that I can be a bit of a handful. Any romantic partners?”

Remus felt his jaw drop and he quickly shut it again with a click. “Is that relevant to this job?” he asked, a blush creeping up his neck. He didn’t dare think there might be another reason Sirius was asking.

Sirius shrugged. “You’re going to be in high demand. My schedule isn’t exactly nine to five and so yours won’t be either. It might not leave much room for personal relationships.”

Remus swallowed thickly. “I-I’ve got a person.”

Sirius studied Remus for a moment. “Are they non-binary or are you just being as vague as possible?” he asked, his tone light as if he were amused.

Remus huffed out a breath, the curls against his forehead bouncing slightly with the movement. “There’s a bloke I see. It’s very casual though. Nothing serious.”

Sirius’ eyes flashed and he looked like he wanted to make a comment. He refrained though and laced his finger together, his pointer fingers upright, sitting against his full lips while his thumbs rested under his chin. “And you’d have no problem working long hours? Sometimes late into the night?”

Remus shook his head. “No, I’m basically nocturnal anyway,” he said, patting some of his curls down self-consciously.

Sirius grinned against his fingers. “If you could steal one thing from my office, what would it be?”

Remus stared at Sirius aghast. “Excuse me?” he asked, shaking his head, thinking he must have misheard him.

“Feel free to walk about and look at things,” Sirius said, gesturing around the room. “I want your honest answer.” 

Remus blinked a few times and stood. He carefully walked around Sirius’ office. He had bookshelves that contained a few of the classics, some comic books, and a large collection of records. Remus let his fingers brush over them as he looked to see what Sirius Black’s taste in music was. He glanced over his shoulder and noticed Sirius was watching him intently.

He crouched down to see what was on the bottom shelf and immediately his eyes went to a picture of a large black dog, a huge grin on his face and his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Remus took the picture and sat down. “This,” he said with a grin.

Sirius gave him a puzzled expression. “You’d take a picture of my dog?”

Remus shrugged. “He looks sweet,” he said, biting his bottom lip. Maybe he had chosen wrong. “And who doesn’t look a good animal picture? I mean that’s basically what the internet is for, right?”

Sirius thought it over for a moment. “You realize there are a multitude of things in this office that are worth over a million pounds. You took the only thing in here that isn’t worth anything. Maybe you could get a couple of quid for the picture frame.”

Remus smiled. “Yeah, yeah, you’re crazy rich, you don’t need to rub it in,” he joked, forgetting for a moment that this wasn’t an interview. Normally he would never have the gall to speak to a prospective employer that way.

Sirius barked out a laugh in surprise. It took him a moment to regain his composure. “His name is Snuffles, by the way,” he said, gesturing towards the dog.

Remus picked up the picture and studied it again. “It suits him,” he said with a decisive nod.

“When can you start?”

Remus dropped the photo in shock. It clattered against the desk loudly and Remus winced, hoping he hadn’t broken it. “Y-you mean I got the job?” he asked, staring at Sirius in complete bafflement.

“You got the job!” Sirius told him, standing up.

Remus stood as well and forgot himself for a moment. He threw his arms around Sirius and hugged him tightly. “You don’t know what this means to me!”

Sirius chuckled and hugged him back. “How about you start on Monday?” he offered, rubbing Remus’ back comfortingly and Remus couldn't help leaning into him just a bit. Remus noticed absentmindedly that Sirius smelled good, like coconut and musk and just a hint of cigarette.

“Monday will be perfect!”


	2. The First Month

Sirius’ claim that he could be a handful wasn’t just true; it was a massive bloody understatement. Over his first month of working for Sirius Black, Remus had pulled five all-nighters, scoured all of London for “that milkshake he liked that one time” and just generally been sent round the twist by his boss. Sirius could be so petulant and childish that’s you’d never know he was nearly twenty-six. Other times he could be so cold that Remus felt chills run through him just looking at Sirius.

Sirius never talked about personal stuff. He only ever talked about business, took the piss out of anything and everything, or asked Remus about himself. He was surprised he hadn’t run out of things to tell Sirius about himself, considering he didn’t think he’d lived that interesting of a life. Somehow Sirius always seemed to ask the right questions that always got Remus going.

People were beginning to talk about the two of them. Remus knew they were. There were rumors around the office about Sirius’ string of Personal assistants. Remus knew there were bets about how long he’d last at the job. The only reason he knew so much was because Mary McDonald and Marlene Mckinnon, the office gossips, liked to come over to Remus’ desk when they were bored.

He was currently being regaled with the story of the previous PA, Gideon. He had apparently lasted two months before Sirius got bored and fired him. It seemed there was a pattern of Sirius letting his assistants go. So far Remus hadn’t heard of a single one leaving of their own volition.

“Why do you think his office is so secluded?” Marlene said, giving Remus a pointed look. “And he’s got that sofa in there. I don’t even want to know what the cleaners have found on that thing.”

Mary giggled. “It’s a shame he’s not into women,” she said, sighing wistfully. “I wouldn’t mind a tumble on Sirius’ sofa.”

Remus cleared his throat loudly. The truth was talking about Sirius in this way made him uncomfortable. It wasn’t just that it was his boss, it was that lately Sirius had been getting…flirty. Remus was pretty sure that was just Sirius, but there was some unmistakable heat in the way he’d begun to look at Remus when they were alone.

Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part. Remus could admit to himself that he found Sirius attractive as he would have to be blind not to. It didn’t mean that anything was going to happen between them. Remus had a little more integrity than that.

“Remus,” Sirius said, popping his head of his office. “Get in here.”

Mary and Marlene exchanged knowing glances as Sirius disappeared back into his office. “Maybe we should get him a giant bottle of lube for Christmas,” Marlene joked, causing Mary to burst into another fit of giggles.

Remus flipped them a V before disappearing into Sirius’ office. He got the little notepad that he kept in his back pocket and the pen from behind his ear. Sirius had a tendency to just start rattling ideas off and expected Remus to remember all of his nonsense. He’d once gotten very cross with Remus because he’d forgotten to write down Snuffles Balloon and Sirius had forgotten to get his dog a balloon for his birthday. The Instagram picture had suffered because of it.

He stood, waiting patiently for Sirius to begin, but instead he had his head cocked to the side and was staring at Remus, looking him up and down. Remus shuffled a bit under the weight of his gaze. “Remus, do I pay you enough money?”

Remus nearly choked in surprise. “I-I’m sorry?” he asked, unsure just what Sirius was getting at. Sure, Remus was mostly living paycheck to paycheck. Some weeks he could afford a few extra treats for himself but mostly all his money went towards bills.

Sirius walked over. “Your clothing, Remus,” he said, circling around him like a vulture. “It’s hideous. Do I not pay you enough to buy some decent clothing? You realize the way you’re dressed reflects on this company, right?”

Remus stared at him, absolutely gobsmacked. He couldn’t think of a single time someone had been so brutally honest with him. Sure, some of his clothing was a little on the shabby side. Overall though, he didn’t feel like he dressed any different than anyone else at the office. The attire was business casual and while some other blokes elected to wear suits, some were considerably more dressed down. Remus often wore jumpers and trousers and although none of his clothing was new, Alice tended to mend things for him when he got a little too much wear out of them.

Remus felt like he might cry, which was so completely embarrassing to do in front of his boss whom he also happened to fancy. He wanted to go find a hole to hide in and maybe die there. He ducked his head down to hide the face that his eyes were shinning with unshed tears. He resolutely was not going to cry in front of Sirius.

“It’s okay,” Sirius said softly, reaching up and cupping Remus’ cheek with one of his hands. “I’ll take care of it.”

***

Remus had no idea what Sirius’ comment might mean until packages began to arrive at his flat. Each day Sirius would essentially dress him, new clothes showing up each night after work for Remus to wear the following day. It was so unbelievably mortifying that his boss had to dress him for work each day. The clothing Sirius picked out wasn’t exactly what Remus would have gotten for himself. It all fit him like a glove although Remus usually wore his clothing a bit more baggy and a lot less designer.

` He knew he really should have protested getting sent clothes by his boss each day, being dressed like a child incapable of doing it himself. But every day when he would show up to work in the outfit Sirius picked out, Sirius would give him this look. It was somewhere between a starving man and a proud father. Remus had a feeling Sirius got some satisfaction out of taking care of Remus.

“He’s just his type, too,” Remus heard a voice from the break room. He’d been on his way to get Sirius’ his third cup of the day, black - two sugars. “All nice and unassuming.”

“_Submissive,” _came a second voice with a sneer. The two who had been talking chuckled to each other. Remus felt his stomach twist painfully. There was no way they could know, he told himself. They were just teasing. Just guessing.

“Do you think they’re already shagging?”

“Nah, I bet Lupin is playing hard to get. You know Black prefers the ones he can chase.”

“Fuck, I’m going to lose money on that betting pool if he doesn’t give in soon. I had him only lasting six weeks.”

“Well you’ve seen the way Lupin has been dressing lately. If I had to guess Black has something to do with the new wardrobe. It can’t be long now.”

Remus walked into the break room with every bit of courage he had. He stared down Emma Vanity and Dirk Cresswell. The two of them glanced up when they spotted Remus and shared a look of concern, wondering just how much Remus had heard of their little conversation. Remus turned his nose up and went to the coffee pot, pouring a cup for Sirius and slowly stirring in the two cubes of sugar. He would not be rushed, he would not let them get to him, and he would not leave quickly just to let them recover.

He did eventually leave without saying a word and went straight to Sirius’ office. He didn’t bother knocking, as Sirius had said there was an open door policy when it came to Remus. Sirius was on the phone, so Remus quietly made his way over, and put the coffee down where it was easily in reach but not in the way. Sirius smiled up at him, his eyes dragging down to take in Remus’ outfit for the day. Remus resolutely did not blush under the examination. Sirius reached out and slid his hand up Remus’ chest, making Remus’ breath catch, as Sirius undid the top two buttons. He gave Remus an approving nod and then turned his attention back to the papers on his desk.

Remus stumbled out of the office, his brow covered in sweat and his heart racing. He went to his desk and wiped his forehead and hands with a tissue. He had just enough time to get his breath to even out before the phone rang. “Marauders, Inc. Sirius Black’s office, how many I help you?”

***

“What is that?”

Remus glanced up at Sirius with his brow furrowed in confusion. “It’s my mobile,” he answered slowly. He usually didn’t pull out his phone at work because he often used his desk phone for calls. He had just been programming something into his calendar so he wouldn’t forget it.

The phone was a bit worse for wear. The screen was cracked in the corner, spreading like a spider web down to the middle of the phone. The back was covered in scratches because Remus had never bothered getting a case for it.

Sirius was looking at it like it was a disgusting slug that had wandered into the office.

“What the _fuck?”_

Remus glanced up at Sirius in surprise. It always caught him off guard when Sirius swore in front of him. He’d never had a boss like that before with so little scruples. Then again Remus couldn’t imagine there was another boss quite like Sirius Black.

Sirius took the phone from Remus without asking and studied it. “This is an Iphone 6s!”

Remus sighed. “Yes, it is.”

“You do realize they’re now on the 11 right?”

Remus rolled his eyes in exasperation and held out his hand for his phone. “I don’t really keep up with stuff like that. The phone works and that’s good enough for me.”

“Hardly,” Sirius said, giving it one more look over before putting it back in Remus’ hand. “How can you even read anything on there with the cracked screen?”

Remus chuckled and slid the phone back into his pocket. Maybe then they could stop talking about it. Out of sight, out of mind and all that. “I only use my phone for the alarm clock and so my flatmates can call me if there’s a fire.”

Sirius’ eyes widened comically large. “I swear, Remus, you’ve got the soul of a ninety year old man.”

Remus snorted. “Is that a crack at the jumpers I used to wear?”

Sirius sat on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. “Thank _fuck _we’ve gotten rid of those hideous things. No self-respecting man in their twenties should be wearing jumpers with patches on them. It isn’t dignified.”

Whether he’d meant to or not, Sirius’ current position made it so his crotch was effectively right in Remus’ eye line. His tight trousers didn’t exactly leave much up to the imagination and Remus had to concentrate on not staring. He swallowed thickly around the lump that had formed in his throat and wished his boss wasn’t so bloody attractive, something he did on a nearly hourly basis.

“Well, thank you for helping me uphold my dignity,” Remus joked, standing up quickly before things got more out of hand. He cleared his throat and glanced longingly at the safety of his desk. “I’m going to go get started on your speech for Tokyo. Unless there was something else you needed?”

Sirius rubbed his thumb against his bottom lip for a moment as if considering it. Then his eyes flickered up to Remus’ and he smiled. “No, nothing else. Thank you, Remus.”

Remus fled quickly back to his desk, sitting into his chair heavily. He could tell his face was red and he took a few gulps from his glass of water to calm down. He unlocked his computer, typing in his password a bit more aggressively than was strictly necessary, and pulled up a blank word document. He stared at the blinking cursor for a long time as the words wouldn’t come. Instead he found himself typing out _you do not fancy your boss _over and over like he was a boy in trouble at school being taught a lesson on behavior.

He filled five pages with the same sentence before stopping. He highlighted all of them and quickly deleted them from existence so no one would see. He nearly jumped when Sirius came out of his office and told Remus he was heading out for lunch.

Remus watched him go and wasn’t sure the repetition had worked. Maybe another five pages would do the trick.

****

He knew he was going to have to draw the line somewhere. Getting a few new work outfits was one thing, and more often than not Sirius would order Remus’ lunch for him and pay, but it was quite another to receive a brand new Iphone on his desk one morning.

He grabbed the box off his desk and rushed into Sirius’ office. Sirius was typing something on his computer and he glanced up as Remus stormed in. “Sirius, I can’t accept this,” Remus said, holding out the box with the new phone.

“Of course you can,” Sirius said dismissively. “Is that all?”

“No that’s not all!” Remus snapped in frustration. His tone must have surprised Sirius because he stopped typing and focused his attention on Remus.

“What’s the problem, Remus?”

Remus dragged his fingers through his hair, tugging through his curls a bit rougher than necessary. The pain of it grounded him. “Y-you can’t just keep doing things like this! I didn’t need a new phone. I didn’t ask for a new phone.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “The phone you have now is unacceptable. You refuse to replace it for some ungodly reason. I need you to have a reliable phone for work purposes so I replaced it for you.”

“I don’t want it,” Remus said, placing it on Sirius’ desk.

“Be reasonable.”

Remus worked his jaw for a moment. “People already talk enough as it is. It’s bad enough that you clothe and feed me. I don’t need you buying me expensive phones as well. Despite what everyone thinks I’d like to last longer than three weeks here.”

Sirius studied him for a moment, his eyes cold and hard like steel. “Anything else you’d like to get off your chest, Remus?”

Remus shook his head silently.

“Then you may go.”

Remus rushed out of Sirius’ office without looking back. He went to his desk but his hands were shaking. No matter how many deep breaths he took he couldn’t get himself to calm down. He ran to the bathroom and locked himself in one of the stalls, a sob wracking through his body the moment the lock clicked. He covered his hand with his mouth when he heard the door to the bathroom open and someone walked in. He couldn’t stop the whimpers that were escaping against his hand. After a few moments the doors opened again and whoever it was walked out.

He felt like somehow he had let Sirius down.

***

“Remus, come in here, please.”

Remus hadn’t been able to face Sirius since their encounter that morning. He had instead thrown himself into other work, sending out emails and making appointments for the rest of the week. He knew it was only a matter of time before he’d been forced to see Sirius, as he couldn’t avoid him forever. Not unless he quit and Remus had no intention of doing that.

“Shut the door.”

He walked slowly into Sirius’ office, feeling like a man headed to the gallows, wondering if Sirius was going to fire him for insubordination. He hung his head as he stood before Sirius, waiting for whatever was to be his punishment. It was almost lunchtime and the floor was mostly empty, just a few stragglers finishing up some work before heading out to eat.

“Bend over and put your hands flat on the desk.”

Remus’ eyes shot up to stare at Sirius. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand. Do as you’re told.” Sirius voice was hard, his gaze unwavering. Remus swallowed thickly and bent over the desk, his arse in the air, and put his hands flat against the wood, his fingers outstretched.

Sirius stood up and walked around the desk to join Remus on the other side. He placed the phone box down directly in front of Remus and Remus’ eyes widened in surprise. He only had a moment to take it in before Sirius’ hand came down hard on his backside.

“W-what?”

Sirius’s hand came down again. “Do not speak.”

Remus clamped his mouth shut, his teeth grinding as Sirius continued his onslaught. Remus lost track of how many times Sirius spanked him, the blows beginning to meld together and Sirius evenly distributed them, the pain covering his entire arse. Unsure if he was able to make noise, Remus bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. All the air left his lungs as Sirius gave him one last final slap to his bottom, sending the pain rippling through him.

“Take the phone and get out,” Sirius said, sounding only slightly out of breath. “I expect you to have it working by tomorrow and all your contacts updated.” Sirius walked over and sat in his chair, tucking a stray hair behind his ear. “I got you a chicken sandwich for lunch and I expect you to eat all of it.”

“Yes sir,” Remus said, his throat feeling tight. He grabbed the phone box and went to his desk, wincing as he was forced to sit on his aching backside. He opened the box and pulled the phone out, sleek and shiny and nicer than most things Remus owned. He quickly programmed the phone so that everything was transferred over to it.

His sandwich was delivered to him with a bag of crisps and an iced tea. He let out a whine and shifted uncomfortably in his seat, sending new jolts of pain through him from the movement. He picked up his desk phone and called Sirius’ extension.

“Yes, Remus?”

“There’s a bag of crisps with the sandwich,” he said instead of a hello.

The line was quiet for a moment. “You may have five crisps from the packet.”

Remus hung up without saying anything more.

He ate his whole sandwich and five crisps.


	3. The Shift

“I never see you anymore, Remus,” Benjy said with a deep sigh. Remus didn’t even have it in him to argue. In the past month and a half that he’d been working for Sirius, Remus had only seen Benjy a handful of times. They weren’t officially dating or anything, mostly just talking with the occasional shag, but Remus still felt guilty for neglecting him. Before he’d met Sirius, he had thought maybe this could have been something.

Benjy was nice, which was probably the worse thing you could say about him. He was a bit on the dull side but at the time when they’d met that had been exactly what Remus had been looking for. Somebody uncomplicated.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said quietly, cupping his tea in his hands and soaking in the warmth of it. “I-I’ll do better.”

Benjy scrubbed his hand over his face. “I just miss you is all. That boss of yours has you running ragged. Half the time when I call you at night you’re still at the office.”

Remus turned scarlet, his mind flooding with memories of being bent of Sirius’ desk, Sirius panting as he exerted himself. The bruises had just started to fade from purple to greenish yellow. Remus still looked at them in the mirror every night, pushing his fingers into the tender skin to try and illicit the same thrill and pain as when Sirius had first done it.

“Sirius keeps long hours,” Remus said defensively, scratching at his arm. His jumper had a handing thread by the elbow and he began to pull on it.

“Is that all he keeps?”

Remus glanced up and yanked the thread until it broke. “What do you mean by that?”

“He’s quite fit, isn’t he?” Benjy said, giving Remus a pointed look.

Remus shuffled uncomfortably. “I suppose,” he said, knowing better than to lie about it. If he did it would be protesting too much. Everyone in the world knew Sirius was good-looking. He’d been on magazine covers for fuck’s sake. Denying it would have been suspicious.

“He has a bit of a reputation as well.”

Remus had heard more than his share of rumors about Sirius Black. Based on what he knew of the man, he wouldn’t be surprised if they were all true. “Benjy, I’m not sleeping with my boss. I would never do anything that stupid.”

Benjy relaxed a little and took Remus’ hand into his own. “Okay, I trust you.” He gave Remus a small smile and then leaned across the table to kiss him. They ended up going home together and Remus gave Benjy a blowjob so he wouldn’t have to undress and show the bruises. That wasn’t too unusual considering Remus liked to shag with the lights off anyway.

After he came, Benjy pulled Remus into his arms and kissed him deeply. He thanked Remus and told him what a good job he had done. Benjy fell asleep first and Remus stayed up, staring at the ceiling, trying his best not to think about Sirius Black. He had someone and it was nice. It was fine.

Everything was fine.

***

Remus felt off the entire next day. It was like he couldn’t be present in the moment no matter how hard he tried. His head was swimming with thoughts of Benjy and Sirius and Remus just wanted something to quiet it all down. Instead he answered the phones and tried to do what he could.

There was a list of people who should by no circumstances be put on hold. Remus had been warned about them when he started. But in the cloud of his funk that day he completely forgot and put Lucius Malfoy on hold. When he got back on the line, Lucius was screaming at him, Remus apologized profoundly but nothing he said placated the man. When he transferred the call over to Sirius, Remus was a wreck. He was sure Sirius would smooth things over but Remus felt drained.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise when Sirius called him into his office. Once again Remus was told to bend over the desk and put his hands flat. He knew he could have said no. He could have refused and said fuck this before leaving the building for good. Sirius wouldn’t force him to bend but there was something in Remus that wanted to. That wanted to do whatever Sirius said. His bruises from the last time hadn’t completely healed and so each blow felt more severe that it had the last time.

“Do you know why you’re being punished, Remus?” Sirius asked in between spanks.

“Yes sir,” Remus said with some difficulty.

“Tell me.”

“I put Lucius Malfoy on hold when I was told never to do that.”

“Yes,” Sirius said, bringing his hand down in quick succession. “And you embarrassed me and forced me to clean up your mess.”

Remus felt his eyes prickle with tears. “I’m sorry, sir.”

By the time Sirius had finished, Remus had tears staining his cheeks. He wiped them away as he turned to go. He could already hear his desk phone ringing.

“Where are you going?” Sirius asked, his tone impatient.

“There’s a call,” Remus said, sniffling slightly.

“Ignore it,” Sirius ordered and Remus stopped in his tracks.

“Sir?” Remus asked in confusion, unsure what else Sirius wanted from him. The last time this had happened he was told to go back to his desk.

“Come here,” Sirius said, his tone softening. He sat down in his chair and Remus walked over, shuffling his feet as he waited for Sirius to guide him. “Kneel.”

Remus dropped to his knees instantaneously. He wondered for a moment if Sirius would make him suck him off. The very thought of it had Remus salivating, imagining Sirius’ prick sliding against his throat, being claimed. Instead, Sirius carded his fingers gently through Remus’ hair and brought Remus’ head down to rest on Sirius’ thigh. Sirius continued to pet him as he worked, one hand remaining in Remus’ hair. “That’s the end of it, Remus,” Sirius told him softly. “Let it go.”

It didn’t take long for Remus’ breathing to even out and he sighed contentedly. Kneeling for that long on the very thin antique rug Sirius had was a bit uncomfortable but Remus barely registered it. The thoughts in his mind quieted until there was nothing but Sirius and those points of contact.

***

There was a launch party at the office for the newest app being released by Marauders, Inc. It was some soft of game involving your animgus where you could do magic or something. Remus wasn’t quite sure of the details because it wasn’t his area of expertise. But he’d still been required to go to the office party because he knew Sirius would give him shite for not being there. He figured he could at least put in an appearance.

He took Benjy as his date because it felt like the thing to do. He also hoped showing everyone he had a…someone…would mean that everyone would stop making up rumors about him and Sirius. Despite their little office moments, nothing physical had ever manifested between them. Nothing under the clothes. They hadn’t even kissed and yet the whole office thought they were shagging. But Remus had lasted two months now and he hoped everyone had bust on their bets, although that was maybe wishful thinking on his part.

When he entered the party, Remus’ eyes immediately went to Sirius across the room. He was talking to someone and Remus recognized him as James Potter. Although an equal owner in the company, James hardly ever came round the office. He’d made enough money that he was more of a silent partner these days. He spent most of his time at home raising his son, Harry, while his wife Lily was off being an attorney. She’d been the one to negotiate the 150 million pound deal with Facebook.

Sirius looked relaxed, talking and joking around with his friend. Remus felt a little pang of something in his chest. He looked so different than he normally did around the office. Sometimes Sirius would joke and tease, but usually he kept up the façade of being “the boss” while at work.

Remus held Benjy’s hand and took him around the party, introducing him to some of his co-workers. People were pleasant enough, asking Benjy about himself and how they had met. Marlene and Mary in particular were gushing to Remus about how cute Benjy was.

For whatever reason, Remus was dreading introducing Sirius and Benjy to each other. That’s why it was so alarming when he noticed Sirius making his way over with James Potter in tow. “Thought you’d avoid me the whole night, eh Remus?” Sirius teased, poking Remus playfully in the stomach. Remus batted his hand away and smiled.

“No sir.”

James Potter raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got him calling you sir?” he asked incredulously, throwing his arm over Sirius’ shoulders. “Damn, when I worked here I got no respect and this git has got them calling him sir.”

Remus blushed. He had no idea what to say in response so he had fallen back on his go to. “This is Benjy,” he said, gesturing to him. “Benjy, this is my boss Sirius and I guess kind of my other boss James Potter.”

Benjy let go of Remus’ hand in favor of shaking with James and Sirius. “It’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

“So this is your person?” Sirius asked with a knowing smirk.

Remus blushed a deeper shade of red. “Yes.”

“You know, you really should lock him down,” Sirius said, his eyes glinting with mischief.

“I’ve been trying,” Benjy said, kissing Remus on the cheek. “Hard to do when he’s tied up at work.”

Sirius’ eyes flashed and he gave Remus an almost predatory look. “Sorry about that, mate. Maybe he’ll have some free time soon. Now that the launch is over there might be a few less late nights.”

“I hope so,” Benjy said, apparently oblivious to the heated looks passing between Sirius and Remus. James Potter seemed to take note though and Remus looked away quickly.

Remus ran his fingers through his hair, ignoring the heat pooling low in his stomach. _Fuck_he was in so much trouble if all it took was a few innuendos and a look from Sirius to get him aroused. “We should get going,” Remus said quickly, hating that the suit he was wearing was picked out by Sirius and that the trousers left very little to the imagination. If he stuck around much longer everyone at the party would see him supporting quite an impressive erection.

“But Rem, we just got here,” Benjy protested.

“I’m knackered,” Remus lied. He didn’t think he’d ever been so keyed up in his life. “All those late nights. I think I just need a good night’s sleep.”

“You deserve it, Remus,” Sirius said, holding his hand out. “You did excellent work.”

Remus shook Sirius’ hand and felt Sirius’ fingers come to rest on his pulse point. After a moment Sirius dropped his hand with a grin. Remus already knew it had been elevated and damn Sirius for needing the proof. “Have a good night, nice to meet you, James,” Remus said quickly, grabbing Benjy by the arm.

“Nice to meet you too!” James called after them as Remus made a hasty exit from the party.

That night Remus had Benjy fuck him hard against the mattress with the lights out. He begged him for more but Benjy wouldn’t go harder, afraid of hurting Remus. In the dark it was easy to imagine it was someone else, long dark hair hanging into his face, stormy grey eyes meeting his. “Please can I cum, please?” Remus begged, the words not meant for the man currently inside him.

“Of course love, cum for me,” Benjy said sweetly, kissing Remus deeply. 

Remus came with a gasp, fisting his own cock hard as Benjy rocked into him. Benjy went off a moment later and then collapsed on top of Remus. Remus gently pushed Benjy off and got dressed, struggling to find his clothes in the dark but not having the courage to turn the light on.

“You don’t have to rush off,” Benjy said in the dark.

“Have to be up early tomorrow,” Remus told him shortly.

“It’s Saturday,” Benjy said, his tone disapproving.

Remus sighed. “Sirius and I are going to Tokyo. They love the app there and there’s going to be a big celebration.”

“Oh.”

Remus struggled into his trousers. “Sorry.”

“You didn’t mention anything about it.”

“_Sorry.” _Remus said again, slightly annoyed.

Benjy got out of the bed and kissed Remus tenderly. “Call me when you get there?”

“It might be late.” Remus said, kissing Benjy back. “It’s an eleven hour flight and then we’ve to a tight schedule. I’ll be sure to text you though, let you know I’m safe.”

Benjy pulled away from Remus and got back into the bed without saying a word. Remus felt like shit and wasn’t sure why he couldn’t have just promised to call. Benjy was very nice and didn’t deserve to be brushed off in such a way. Remus wished something inside him cared a bit more. He just couldn’t make himself treat Benjy better.

“Good night,” he said quietly as he exited the room, leaving Benjy alone in the dark.

****

Remus wasn’t sure he was entirely prepared for an entire weekend with Sirius Black. They met at the airport at six in the morning, their flight at 7am. Remus felt like he’d barely slept at all and he was thankful for the first class tickets because maybe he could actually get some rest in.

Except that he was sitting next to Sirius Black, who apparently did not take well to being ignored when it was just the two of them. As soon as Remus put his chair back to sleep, Sirius began bombarding him with questions. “So how did you and Benjy meet?” Sirius asked, sounding nonchalant but Remus could tell it was put on. He thought he was getting to know Sirius well enough to spot the difference.

“We went to Uni together,” Remus answered, searching through his bag for the caffeine pills he kept in there. If he was going to be up talking to Sirius for the entire eleven-hour flight, he was going to need help staying awake. “He was into me for a few years but I was dating someone else at the time. Once things ended, Benjy asked me out after giving me some time to get over it.”

Sirius nodded. “Are you two happy together?”

Remus glanced over at him and popped the pills into his mouth, dry swallowing them. “I’m not unhappy,” he said honestly.

“Did the two of you shag last night?”

“Is that your business?” Remus pushed back, refusing to tell Sirius absolutely everything about his love life. No matter how close they got, there were some things that Remus still wanted to remain private. It also wasn’t exactly something he wanted to think about, considering that while he’d been sleeping with Benji he’d been imagining Sirius. He scratched at his arm nervously.

Sirius smirked. “I suppose not,” he said with a shrug. “Is it really my fault you two aren’t dating?”

Remus felt his stomach drop. “What do you mean?” he asked, playing it as cool as he could muster. He tried to hide the absolute terror coursing through him. Just what was Sirius implying?

“Because I make you work too much,” Sirius clarified.

Remus let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Oh that,” he said, forcing a smile to his face. “No, I – I have my own reasons. It’s just easier this way.”

Sirius watched him for a moment but didn’t press the issue. They fell into less heavy territory of conversation topics. Remus asked Sirius about James and their history together. He knew most of it already since Sirius’ past was well publicized. But it was different hearing it straight from the man himself. He told Remus about the pranks he and James used to pull at school. He told Remus about his cold, unfeeling mother and his absent father, and Regulus, his brother, who he hadn’t really connected with until they were both adults and no longer under their parents thumb.

Remus thought he’d never heard Sirius talk about so much personal stuff in the two months he’d worked for the man. He’d managed to glean a few personal bits of information but mostly Sirius was just a big question mark. He still hadn’t even been to Sirius’ house.

When the flight attendant came around, Sirius ordered for both of them and Remus ignored the bloom of warmth that spread through his chest. Their food came and Sirius made sure Remus ate all of it before tucking into his own food. He ordered them some champagne, which mixed with the sleeplessness didn’t seem like the best idea. But Sirius insisted and it flowed freely, glass after glass, until they landed in Tokyo.

They stopped off at the hotel first to drop off their things so they didn’t have to carry their suitcases to the event. Plus, Sirius wanted them both to change, their clothes a little wrinkled from sitting so long on the flight. He went through Remus’ suitcase and picked out an acceptable outfit.

When they arrived at the event, Sirius was immediately whisked off by the people in charge. Remus stayed behind, keeping an eye on Sirius in case he might want anything. It was a flurry of activity but Remus was too exhausted to take much of it in. If it hadn’t been for the bright lights and the noise, Remus would have found a corner to fall asleep in. But he was there for work and he had to remain awake, regardless of how difficult it might be or the dull pain behind his eyes from the effort of keeping them open.

When Sirius took the stage to make his speech, Remus stood in the wings to watch him. Remus and Sirius had written the speech together about internet trends and the difference between following and starting them to make your business successful. It was the product of several long nights at the office where Sirius and Remus had gone back and forth trying to get the words just right.

To no ones surprise at all, Sirius was a massive hit. For the rest of the night everyone was coming up to him to congratulate him and tell him how much they liked his speech. Remus was happy to fade into the background. He couldn’t even imagine getting attention like that while Sirius seemed to thrive on it.

The taxi ride back to the hotel was blissfully quiet. Remus felt his eyelids starting to droop from the long day. He didn’t remember falling asleep, his eyes shutting of their own volition. “Remus,” Sirius said, jostling him awake. “We’re here.”

Remus blinked his eyes open to find his face buried against Sirius’ pale neck. He quickly sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “Sorry,” he mumbled, getting out of the taxi.

“Quite alright,” Sirius said, taking Remus’ arm and guiding him into the hotel and up to his room. Sirius opened the door for him and walked him inside. Remus fully expected Sirius to leave after that but instead he walked them further into the room. He reached out and began to unbutton Remus’ shirt but Remus grabbed his wrists and stopped him.

“No,” he said firmly.

“No?” Sirius echoed, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not going to fuck you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Remus blinked a few times, taken aback by the oddness and bluntness of Sirius’ statement. “I don’t like undressing in front of people,” Remus informed him but offered no other explanation. Sirius removed his fingers from Remus’ shirt and Remus let go of his wrists. “Thank you,” he mumbled, ducking his head down in shame.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then,” Sirius said, bouncing awkwardly on the balls of his feet for a moment. “Good night, Remus.”

“Good night, sir.”

***

Remus woke up the next morning well rested but also uncomfortably hard. His skin felt heated under the heavy duvet and he kicked it away from him. It was quick work getting his pants off and wrapping his fingers around the shaft of his hard prick. He hadn’t woken up this hard in quite some time.

He started slowly, just a few soft strokes that made him hiss with need. As he stroked himself, he slipped two fingers into his mouth, sucking on them greedily. He knew he should be picturing Benjy, and he tried, but it got him nowhere. Growling in frustration, he let his mind wander to Sirius. He imagined being bent over his desk, his hole being used as Sirius took what he wanted from him.

Moaning around the fingers in his mouth, he pulled them out and dragged them down is body, leaving little trails of saliva on his skin. He imagined it was Sirius kissing him, ignoring all his scars, and slipped his fingers inside himself. He was still a little open from his night with Benjy. He let out a wanton noise as his fingers penetrated his willing hole, offering very little resistance to the intrusion.

“Sirius,” Remus groaned out, feeling fevered with need. He fisted his cock almost painfully hard, pulling the foreskin down to reveal the head on each stroke. He wanted to cum so bad. He bucked off the bed as his middle finger dragged over his prostate. Stars burst from behind his eyelids from the sensations overwhelming his body.

Remus opened his eyes and found Sirius staring at him from beside the bed. It took a moment to realize he wasn’t imagining it, but he glanced over and the door adjoining their rooms was open. His eyes widened in shock as he realized what was happening.

“Finish, Remus,” Sirius commanded, his voice hoarse with arousal.

Remus let out a scream as he immediately followed Sirius’ direction. His released coated over his neck and chest. He whimpered pathetically as he stroked himself through the aftershocks and then his hands dropped limply to his sides.

Sirius was watching him intently, his eyes dark. His eyes flickered over Remus’ naked body and Remus blushed. He hated that Sirius was seeing all the scars littering his body. Sirius, who was standing by his bedside in just his pants, his skin perfect and unbroken. They looked at each other for a long time and Remus was frightened Sirius was just going to leave without a word. That maybe seeing Remus’ scared body had put him off.

“Get on your hands and knees,” Sirius ordered, finally breaking the silence and tension between them.

Remus scrambled to obey, flipping over and positioning himself on all fours in the center of the bed. It scared him how much he wanted this. He usually hated people seeing his scars but he wanted Sirius to see them and desire him anyway. He wanted Sirius to take him and own him completely, despite his imperfections.

Sirius got onto the bed behind him and eased his pants down to release his cock. Remus waited for the familiar stretch of a cock inside him but it never came. “I told you I’m not going to fuck you,” Sirius said, his voice thin, his breathing heavy. Instead he began to stroke himself, the unmistakable sound of wet skin on skin. Remus wished nothing more than to be able to turn around and see Sirius masturbate but he didn’t dare move from his position. He managed to glance back over his shoulder and saw Sirius staring at his arse, his hole slick and open from fingering himself, bruises still on his cheeks from the last spanking he’d received.

Sirius looked wrecked as he pleasured himself, his breathing coming in little hitching gasps. He grabbed Remus’ hip, the only point of contact between them, and held on tight enough to bruise as he came all over Remus’ back and arse.

Sirius replaced his pants and got off the bed. He walked over so he was right by Remus’ face and held out his hand. Remus met his gaze for a moment and Sirius raised an eyebrow questioningly. Remus bit his bottom lip for a moment and then poked out his tongue, lapping away at Sirius’ hand to clean away some of his release. Getting his first taste of Sirius was overwhelming and Remus wished he could have a mouthful of him.

Sirius smiled warmly and ran his fingers through Remus’ hair. “Clean yourself up and meet me downstairs. Our plane leaves in an hour.”

With shaky legs, Remus went into the bathroom and climbed into the shower. He washed the cum from his body and wondered just what this meant for the two of them Fear and anxiety rippled through his body as he remembered some of the stories he’d heard at work. That Sirius would lose interest as soon as Remus gave in. No personal assistant had lasted as long as Remus and it seemed that him holding out had something to do with how long he’d stuck around.

Remus had a horrible thought as he turned off the water. _Is he already bored of me? _


	4. The Point of No Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of Past Abuse and attempted Suicide in this chapter! Proceed with caution please!

If Remus had thought they were going to talk about what had happened in the hotel room, he was sorely mistaken. Sirius spent most of the flight home sleeping and checking his emails on his phone. Remus tried to read a book, but he couldn’t concentrate enough to get past the same sentence, so he reread it about a hundred times before giving up. Instead he put his earbuds in and listened to a few podcasts, pretending that the man sitting next to him hadn’t gone quiet.

Remus thought about the scars marring his chest and torso. He hated that Sirius had seen them. He’d tried to be so careful too. As much as he wished Sirius hadn’t seen them he wished more that Sirius would actually talk to him about it. Remus felt like he was unraveling with each passing moment where Sirius ignored him. 

When they arrived at Heathrow, Remus followed quietly behind Sirius as they got their bags and headed outside. Sirius’ car and driver were already waiting for him but Sirius stopped and hailed a taxi for his personal assistant. Remus was about to get inside when Sirius gently took his arm. Remus felt warmth bloom over his entire body from just the small point of contact and the fact that Sirius wasn’t ignoring him.

“When you get home I want you to eat a hot meal, something like soup, something comforting,” Sirius murmured quietly into Remus’ ear. Remus instinctually leaned in closer. “Have a cup of tea and relax for the rest of the evening. Can you do that for me, Remus?”

Remus nodded, not trusting himself to speak. A part of him wanted to say no, to push Sirius and see what Sirius would do if Remus said he couldn’t take care of himself. Would Sirius take care of him instead? Still, a larger part of Remus wanted to do exactly what Sirius said.

“Have a good night, Remus,” Sirius said, just barely brushing his lips against Remus’ ear and making Remus shiver in response. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Sirius slowly pulled away, his fingers sliding down Remus’ arm until they were gone. Remus immediately craved the contact that he had just lost. Instead he got into his cab and shut the door, giving the driver his address.

***

Remus found Sirius staring at him quite a bit the next day. He’d glance up from his desk, which faced Sirius’ office, and find the man just standing in the doorway watching him. When he’d notice Remus looking at him, he would ask Remus to do something as if it was his reason for coming to the door in the first place.

It was…odd.

Remus was just about to turn off his computer and head home for the day when he looked up and saw Sirius watching him once again. Remus blushed. “Did you need something, sir?”

Sirius blinked a few times before responding. “My suit is at the dry cleaners. I need you to go pick it up and then bring it to my home tonight. I’ll text you the address.”

Remus had to work to keep his jaw from dropping. Sirius had never let Remus into his home before. Remus didn’t even have an inkling of where Sirius might live. He had no idea why suddenly Sirius was sharing this information with him when before now it had been a well kept secret.

“Of course,” Remus said, gathering up his stuff quickly. “I’ll leave right away.”

Sirius smiled at him. “I’ll see you soon then.”

Remus returned the smile. “See you soon.”

***

The text came with Sirius’ address the moment Remus had left the building. He made his way to Sirius’ usual dry cleaners, having had to retrieve enough suits from there to know which one it was, and it was just a short walk from the office. He collected the suit and was in a cab all in the span of five minutes. His body was thrumming with excitement as he gave the driver Sirius’ address.

They turned down the most posh street Remus had ever seen in his life, a row of mansions stretched out before them behind large gates. Remus should have guessed that Sirius would live somewhere like this. They pulled up in front of the address Sirius had given him and Remus pressed himself against the window, unable to comprehend the extravagant home that stood before him. How did Sirius not get lonely in a house so big?

To his surprise, Sirius was waiting for them at the gate. He paid the cab driver as Remus stumbled out, making sure to get Sirius’ suit and not leave it behind. He held it carefully as Sirius punched in the code for the gate and it swung open. They walked side by side up the driveway and Remus was too busy wrapping his head around everything to notice the silence.

When they got inside, Snuffles came up excitedly and greeted Remus, licking his hand and attempting to jump on him. Remus laughed and gave him a few quick pets on his head, unable to do much more with the dry cleaning in his hands.

“Just put it in there,” Sirius told him, gesturing to a closet in the front foyer. Remus put the suit away as Sirius had asked and then shut the door. He shuffled awkwardly, wondering if his task was done and Sirius would send him home. It wouldn’t be the first or last time Sirius had demanded something frivolous of him.

Sirius studied him for a moment. “I want to kiss you,” he said evenly as if he hadn’t just said something world shattering.

Remus managed to huff out a laugh. “Are you asking my permission?” he wondered, scratching at his arm.

Sirius’ expression darkened. “You have a say in the matter, Remus. Of course you do.”

“I didn’t the other times,” Remus shot back defensively. He was caught off guard by all of this, by being in Sirius’ home with Sirius asking instead of just taking. He didn’t like it. He wanted Sirius to just take what he wanted.

Sirius’ face blanched for a moment. “You could have said no,” he reasoned, dragging his fingers through his hair. “Could have told me to go to hell. You _wanted _to obey. Don’t act like I took advantage of you.”

“I wasn’t saying that,” Remus said, feeling his world tilt even more off-kilter. “I’m not used to you letting me decide things.”

“Well?” Sirius asked impatiently, his face open and expectant.

Remus worried his bottom lip between his teeth. This was certainly a point of no return kind of moment. He would never be able to take this back. Never be able to erase the feeling of Sirius’ lips on his. This was the moment it would become something more and Remus could stop it if he wanted. All he had to do was say no and return home. Just turn around and leave as if Sirius wasn’t offering everything he’d wanted for the past two months.

“I have a boyfriend,” Remus said dumbly. It felt pertinent information to remind the both of them at that moment.

“You have a person,” Sirius said with a knowing smirk. “Unless things have changed?” 

Remus shook his head. “This is really unfair,” he said with a petulant whine. “You’re making me feel guilty for wanting what I want.”

Sirius took a step forward, crowding in close to Remus. “What do you want, Remus?”

Remus met Sirius’ gaze and licked his lips. “I want you to kiss me.”

Sirius obliged, cupping Remus’ face in his hands and pulling him down into a kiss. It began slow and sensual, their lips moving against each other, until Sirius licked his way into Remus’ mouth. He backed Remus against the closet and put his hands up against the door, caging Remus against it. Remus moaned but didn’t touch Sirius back. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to.

Sirius broke the kiss and smiled. “You’re so good, Remus,” he praised softly, gently running his fingers through Remus’ hair. Remus couldn’t help preening under the compliment. “Are you going to continue being good for me?”

Remus nodded emphatically. He wanted nothing more than to be good for Sirius.

“Do you have a safeword?” Sirius asked, sliding his hand back down to cup Remus’ cheek, his thumb brushing over Remus’ kiss-swollen lips.

Remus shook his head slightly, not wanting Sirius to stop touching him.

Sirius nodded. “We’ll keep it simple then. Green means go, yellow means slow down and red means stop. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir,” Remus said, his mouth suddenly going dry.

“Good boy,” Sirius said, rewarding Remus with a soft kiss on the lips. “I want you to go upstairs. My bedroom is the last door on the left. I’d like you to strip down naked and wait for me on the bed. Can you do that for me, Remus?”

“Yes sir,” Remus said, his eyes never leaving Sirius’. He wanted Sirius to know that he trusted him, that he could handle this.

“Go on,” Sirius said, dropping his hand and backing away. “I’ll be up in a minute. I just have to let Snuffles out.”

Remus walked up the stairs, not an easy feat considering he was painfully hard. He tried not to get distracted by the rooms as he passed them on his way to Sirius’ bedroom. He could only hope that Sirius would give him a tour some other time.

He stepped into a bedroom that was bigger than his entire flat. The ceiling were vaulted and had to be at least twelve feet high. There was a brick fireplace in the corner, a large flat screen telly mounted on the wall, floor to ceiling windows that appeared to open out onto a balcony. Not to mention that extremely large bed sitting in the center of the rom. Remus couldn’t help remembering the rumors that Sirius Black threw orgies at his home. He could imagine such a thing occurring on a bed that large. It looked big enough for four people to sleep comfortably, not to mention get up to other activities.

Remus had to spot gawking or he wouldn’t finish what he was meant to be doing. He pulled his jumper over his head and folded it neatly on the chaise. He made quick works of the buttons on his shirt and then stripped that off as well. He was still uncomfortable being naked in front of someone else, but Sirius had already seen the scars, and he couldn’t hide them forever. He wouldn’t disobey the orders Sirius had given him, although a part of him wondered what kind of punishment Sirius would administer. His face went hot at the thought of more spankings but in the privacy of Sirius' home. 

Kicking off his shoes, he pulled his trousers and pants down in one go and set them on the chaise with his other clothing. He was grateful for the fire going in the fireplace, heating the room to a comfortable degree so that he wasn’t shivering. He sat down on the edge of the bed and waited patiently with his hands in his lap.

Sirius came into the bedroom five minutes later. He looked Remus over and smiled approvingly. “Lay down on your back,” he instructed.

Remus scooted back so he was more fully on the bed and then lay down amongst the pillows. The duvet was grey with black sheets underneath, softer than anything Remus had ever slept on in his life. Remus felt so open and exposed in his current position and he only hope Sirius didn’t register his discomfort. He hadn’t been fully naked in front of someone in years.

Sirius went over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. He pulled out some leather straps and brought them over to the bed. He used them to tie Remus’ wrists to the bedposts with enough give that Remus could pull against them. “What colour, Remus?”

Remus swallowed thickly. “Green.”

Sirius nodded and joined him on the bed, kneeling beside him. “You’re going to tell me about your scars,” Sirius told him, his fingers reaching out and gently tracing a scar that ran from his right nipple down to his hip.

Remus shifted against the sheets and let out a whimper. He considered saying red but he didn’t want this to end. He didn’t want Sirius to stop touching him. Remus let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. “It’s a long story,” he warned Sirius.

“We’ve got all night,” Sirius whispered, dropping his head down and pressing a kiss to a scar on Remus’ side with such reverence that it made Remus’ eyes prickle with tears.

“I was in my second year at Uni,” he began, trying and failing to blink the tears away. “And I had realized my…interest in being dominated. I had a one night stand with a guy who was very interested in tying me up and making me beg for it and I’d let him. Enjoyed it more than I’d thought.”

Sirius’ lips moved to a scar just above Remus’ belly button, letting his tongue trail across it and making Remus squirm underneath him.

“So I went looking for more. I answered an ad on craigslist. Dominant looking for submissive partner for sexual BDSM relationship. Must be into pain play and orgasm denial.” Remus recited it from memory having gone back over that ad again and again before getting the courage to answer it.

Sirius’ eyes flickered up to Remus’ for a moment and held his gaze. Remus swallowed hard, his throat getting tight from the memory. He looked up at the ceiling because that was easier than looking at Sirius.

“I didn’t know what the hell I was doing or what I wanted,” Remus told him quietly. “But I answered the ad and that’s how I met Fenrir Greyback. He was quite a bit older than me, thirty-five when I was only eighteen. Just a stupid kid really, looking for someone to love me. A-and I fooled myself into thinking he did for over a year. It wasn’t until I started researching BDSM relationships that I realized I wasn’t in one. It was just abuse. No limits, no safety, no trust. He ignored every time I told him no. He got off on it.” Remus screwed his eyes shut because he couldn’t bear to look at Sirius and have him see how weak he was. “He liked to hurt me as if it were some kind of game. It was his way of c-claiming me.”

“Remus,” Sirius said, his voice soft. Remus dared to open his eyes, tears immediately escaping as soon as he did. “What colour?”

“Green,” he choked out.

Sirius shifted on the bed and wrapped himself around Remus, holding him tightly. His fingers carded gently through Remus’ hair and Remus sighed contentedly. “Only continue if you want to,” Sirius said, pressing soft kisses to Remus’ forehead.

“I tried to kill myself,” Remus told him, fighting back a sob. “I took a knife from the kitchen and cut myself. I-I didn’t see a way out. He was never going to let me go. When he found me bleeding out on the kitchen floor he took me to hospital. He ended up saving my life, ironically enough. The doctor said if I had been there even five minutes longer I would have been gone. They realized what I’d been trying to do and they made me go see a psychiatrist. I told them about the abusive relationship I’d been in for the past year and they helped me get a restraining order against him. B-but I had to go to an institution for six months to make sure I wasn’t still suicidal. Luckily I was able to continue my education so I wouldn’t fall behind in my studies. It was all I really had while I was there.”

Sirius tightened his grip on Remus, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

“P-please,” Remus said, tugging against his binds. “Don’t look at me different. Don’t let this change anything. I know my body isn’t much to look at but I’ll be good to you, Sirius. I promised I’d be good.”

“Remus!” Sirius said firmly, pulling Remus out of the drop he’d been heading towards. As he spoke he carded his fingers through Remus' hair, adding just enough pressure to make it hurt just a little. The feeling of it grounded Remus in the moment. “You’re beautiful and strong. You've endured more than most and you found away out to the other side. You're remarkable. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

Remus nodded.

“I want you to take three deep breaths, in through the nose and out through your mouth.”

Remus followed Sirius’ instructions, focusing on obeying instead of how’d just ripped himself open in front of Sirius and spilled every vile thing that was inside of him. But Sirius was still here and he was looking down at Remus with a look of such tenderness that it made Remus’ sadness just ebb away like a forgotten memory.

“Now, is there anything that you know of that you do like?” Sirius asked, sliding his hand down and wrapping it around Remus’ cock. It had gone soft during their conversation but it perked up with renewed interest. Remus moaned and pressed into Sirius hand.

“I like that,” Remus said, pressing his head back into the pillows and arching in need.

Sirius chuckled. “Anything else?”

“I-I don’t know,” Remus told him honestly. “Benjy and I we’re…not like this.”

Remus felt a wave of guilt wash over him as he mentioned Benjy. He really should have broken things off with him before coming here. He should have broken things off months ago when he first realized he was attracted to his boss.

A sharp slap to his thigh jolted him out of spiraling. He quickly met Sirius’ gaze. “Don’t bring anyone else into this room,” Sirius ordered, capturing Remus’ lips and kissing him fiercely. “It’s just you and me.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said quickly, chasing Sirius’ lips as he pulled away.

Sirius eased Remus onto his side so his back was facing him. He knew it was coming but the quick blow to his arse still made him gasp. “You’re not to hurt yourself again, Remus. Do you understand?”

“Yes!” Remus cried out as Sirius spanked each cheek in quick succession and then both together at the top and bottom.

“If you need release, you come to me. That’s my job now.”

“Yes daddy.”

Remus hadn’t meant to say it, the word had just slipped out from between his lips. He glanced over his shoulder at Sirius and his eyes had gone dark with hunger. “Good boy,” he said but his voice sounded strained. “Colour?”

“Green,” Remus said without hesitation.

Sirius got off the bed and went back to the drawer. He grabbed more straps and guided Remus onto his back. His straps were tied around his ankles and fastened to the ones on his wrists, bending him in half. Remus felt a little vulnerable in the position he was in, squirming slightly. He immediately relaxed when Sirius touched the back of his thigh gently. “Colour?”

“Green,” Remus said before rethinking. “Greenish yellow.”

Sirius smirked at that and got on the bed. “I’m going to suck you now, Remus. Your eyes are not going to leave mine as I do it. You will only cum once I tell you to. Do you understand?”

“Yes daddy.”

Sirius settled on the bed and dipped his head down, taking Remus’ aching cock into his mouth. Remus let out a whimper as he was enveloped in the tight heat of Sirius’ mouth. It was the most intense sexual experience Remus had ever had, his eyes never leaving Sirius’ as Sirius’ head bobbed, taking Remus deeper into his mouth each time. He'd never had anyone look at him like that and each moment that passed felt like a connection between the two growing taut. 

Every time the pleasure would overwhelm him and his eyes threatened to close, Sirius would bring him back with a sharp spank. Remus felt his thighs begin to tremble from the position and keeping them elevated. The straps dug into his ankles, the dull pain of it helping to keep him from orgasm.

The tight, wet heat of Sirius’ mouth left him for a moment and Remus let out a loud whine from the loss. His spit-soaked cock slapped against his stomach as he took a moment to regain his breathing. The reprieve was short as Sirius went to the drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube. He brought it over to the bed and slicked up his fingers. His middle finger teased at Remus’ hole, circling the rim, making Remus shudder with want.

“Colour?”

“Green! Green daddy, please!” Remus begged, trying to press down against his fingers but the straps had no give to them. He groaned in frustration as Sirius continued to tease him.

Sirius smiled and slipped the finger inside. “What were you thinking about when you did this to yourself in Tokyo?”

“Y-you,” Remus stuttered out, closing his eyes. “You fucking me.”

“Where?” Sirius asked, spanking Remus hard and making his eyes fly open.

“At work,” Remus said breathlessly. “Over your desk.”

Sirius hummed and began fucking Remus with his finger, sliding it slowly in and out of his hole. He poured more lube onto his fingers and pressed back in with two. “Naughty,” he said, lowering his mouth down and doing a few sucking kisses up the shaft of Remus’ cock.

“Daddy!” Remus cried out, unable to control himself under the onslaught that was Sirius Black. “Please.”

Sirius licked a stripe from root to tip. He curled his fingers and Remus thrashed as his fingers pressed against his prostate. “Oh fuck,” Remus moaned, shaking from the effort not to cum.

Sirius kept him like that for what felt like hours, teetering on the edge of orgasm, unable to look away as Sirius toyed with him, his sinful lips stretched around Remus’ prick as he sucked him. Remus was sweating and his legs had cramps but he couldn’t find it in him to care. Sirius was paying attention to him, taking him apart expertly, and Remus felt like his entire body was floating.

“Remus,” Sirius said, sounding muffled and a little far away. Remus blinked a few times and tried to focus. “I want you to count to five out loud and then cum for me.”

“Yes daddy,” Remus said softly, nearly crying in relief.

Sirius kept his fingers inserted inside Remus, his fingers just barely brushing against his prostate. With his other hand, he spanked Remus hard, the sting of it just making Remus drift further into the safe and warm cocoon he felt enveloped in.

“One,” he said, remembering what he’d been told.

Sirius’ finger brushed his sweet spot again followed by another blow to his arse. “Two,” Remus gasped out.

By the time they got to four, Remus was quivering, his bollocks drawn in tight. He barely managed to say the word five before his orgasm rocked through him, making him nearly black out from the overwhelming sensations. He fell back against the pillows in exhaustion.

Sirius undid the straps on his ankles and Remus’ legs fell heavily onto the bed, the blood having rushed out of them some time ago. He expected Sirius to undo the straps on his wrists next but instead Sirius crawled on top of him, sitting on his chest. He quickly undid his flies, and Remus noticed with some satisfaction how hard he was in his trousers. With a small hiss, he released his cock and gave it a few quick strokes.

Remus kept his eyes open as Sirius’ release painted his face. A bit landed on his lips and he licked it away greedily. Sirius took a moment to recover, gripping the headboard to stabilize himself as he came down from his orgasm. He gently eased off of Remus and stood by the bed, undoing the straps on his wrists.

Remus let out a yelp of surprise as Sirius lifted him up, carrying him bridal style into the en-suite bathroom. He buried his face in Sirius’ neck and sighed happily. Sirius sat down on the edge of the large tub with Remus still in his arms and turned on the taps. He held his hand under the faucet until the water reached the right temperature.

Once they got into the tub, Remus felt like the luckiest person in the fucking world. Sirius pampered him, washing his hair with clearly expensive shampoo based on the fancy bottle. They were sitting back to chest with Sirius’ arm around Remus’ middle to keep him in place. He would have told Sirius he had no intention of going anywhere but he was too elated to speak.

Sirius whispered words in what sounded like French, murmuring softly in the foreign tongue. Even if Remus’ head hadn’t been all fuzzy, he wouldn’t have probably understood a word of it, as he didn’t speak French. Remus’ breathing deepened and he could have fallen asleep right there, sitting comfortably between Sirius’ legs.

“Ce soir tu m’appartiens,” Sirius whispered, pressing soft kisses to Remus’ neck, his hand dragging the washcloth over Remus’ body to scrub him clean.

He was only vaguely aware of Sirius pulling the plug on the tub and wrapping Remus up in a towel. He could barely keep his eyes open as his head hit the pillows on Sirius’ bed. He could feel Sirius spooning him from behind, all the points of contact sending Remus’ nerve endings on fire. He could have stayed there forever, pressed completely against Sirius.

“Tu as mon Coeur, garde le coffre-fort.”

Remus smiled, still unsure what Sirius was saying to him in French. So instead he answered him with the only thing he could think of to say. He didn’t know if it would quite cover how grateful he was to Sirius for not only the amazing sex but for taking care of him afterwards. He had to bite back the words he truly wanted to say to him so instead he kept it simple.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took YEARS of French up until high school and I don't remember much of is. So if you actually speak French I'm sorry if it's butchered in this chapter. Blame google translate. As always, thanks for reading!!


	5. The Boss

Sirius awoke to find Remus in his arms, his head resting on Sirius’ chest, snoring softly. Sirius smiled to himself and ran his fingers through Remus’ curls. Remus sighed contentedly in his sleep and pressed in closer to Sirius, their hips slotted together and their legs tangled.

He was getting in too deep and he knew it. He’d never let a PA come to his home before; never let them spend the night in his bed. It was too comfortable and too familiar. He’d never let anyone get this close but there was just something about Remus that made Sirius break all his personal rules.

He knew what people thought about his endless parade of personal assistants. It wasn’t exactly his fault that people couldn’t cut it. Sure, after Fifty Shades of Grey everyone was down for something a little kinkier in the bedroom until they found out what it was really like. Either his partners couldn’t handle it or they did something stupid like fall in love with him.

James always said that Sirius was a commitment-phobe, but that wasn’t entirely true. Sirius just hadn’t found anyone worth committing to. He blamed his parents for his impossibly high standards (as well as most of his other issues, if he was being completely honest.) That’s why being with Remus was so bloody frightening, because he wasn’t just a fun playmate; he was also funny and insightful. A true match, not just for Sirius’ tastes, but also someone who challenged him. The way they’d fought over every inch of his speech for Tokyo, Remus standing his ground over even the smallest detail, had been the most fun Sirius had had in quite some time.

“We’re going to be late,” Remus murmured, his eyes fluttering open. He bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling as he looked up at Sirius.

“We’re working from home today,” Sirius informed him, pressing a kiss to Remus’ forehead.

Remus chuckled. “There’s only one problem with that. This isn’t my home.”

Sirius smirked at him in return. “You knew what I meant.”

“I did,” Remus confirmed, rolling his hips sinfully, his morning wood sliding against Sirius’ hip. Sirius slid his hands down Remus’ back slowly, letting his fingernails drag just slightly to leave light marks. Remus shivered in appreciation and moaned softly.

Sirius gripped Remus’ arse and began kneading it with his hands. When he kissed Remus, his assistant went pliant underneath him, allowing Sirius to lick into his mouth and dominate it. Sirius pulled Remus more fully on top of him and urged him forward by his arse, making Remus rut against him, their cocks sliding deliciously against each other. Remus moaned against Sirius’ mouth, canting his hips greedily.

“Slowly,” Sirius ordered, pulling Remus’ cheeks apart and pressing his thumb against his hole. He teased it, letting his thumb circle the rim, feeling Remus clench and then release. “I’m going to take my time with you this morning.”

Remus huffed in annoyance but didn’t argue. Sirius retaliated with a swift slap to Remus’ backside. “Problem?” he asked primly, dipping his thumb in and out of Remus’ hole torturously.

“Sorry daddy,” Remus responded, trembling against Sirius.

“Good,” Sirius said, rewarding Remus with a soft, sweet kiss. All the tension bled out of Remus when he was forgiven, melting once again against Sirius. He retrieved the lube from the nightstand and poured some onto his fingers. He pressed two inside Remus, his rim still slightly stretched from the night before, and began fucking him with them.

Remus keened against him, burying his face in Sirius’ neck. “Daddy, please,” he begged quietly. “Please can I have your cock?”

“Not yet,” Sirius told him, pressing a kiss to Remus’ temple. He could tell Remus wanted to whine in protest as he could hear him chewing on his bottom lip to keep himself quiet. Sirius had to keep himself from smiling in amusement. “Be patient, baby. Daddy will fuck you soon.”

Remus nodded, the motion causing his curls to tickle Sirius’ cheek. Sirius was still awed by how much Remus trusted him already. He had been since Remus confided in him the night before. Despite most of the English speaking world – and a few other countries for good measure – knew of his sordid past, he still couldn’t imagine divulging it all to Remus in such an open and honest way.

Recalling the story from the night before, Sirius had to stamp down the anger he felt on behalf of Remus that he had been so thoroughly mistreated. Sirius couldn’t imagine treating a sub in such a way. As much as a possessive streak ran its way through him, twisting him inside, and the need to claim and mark his partners was always tantalizing, he always found the greatest pleasure was taking care of them. It was why clothing and feeding Remus had been so important to him.

That’s why he was so upset with himself for not getting Remus’ explicit consent before entering into a scene with him. In truth, he hadn’t even thought about it, knowing it was something Remus needed. He wasn’t sure Remus would have had the confidence to ask for what he wanted so Sirius had taken the initiative. But still, he felt disgusting for not having got Remus’ approval for the first few scenes they’d done together.

The first time he had spanked Remus he had been working on pure instinct. Remus had been so agreeable and pliable in his hands that he’d never even thought it might not be something Remus wanted. But knowing now that Remus had been mistreated in the past, his protests ignored, made Sirius want to be sick. Then he had sent Remus off back to his desk without taking proper care of him afterwards. He would take the time to beat himself up over it later but for now his focus was on Remus.

With his free hand, Sirius gently guided Remus’ arm up, immediately noticing the harsh scars running up his wrist almost to his elbow. Sirius felt something dark curl inside his stomach. Pushing it down, he pressed kisses to the scars. After a moment he dared to meet Remus’ gaze and Remus’ eyes were shinning with tears.

Sirius rolled them on the bed so that he was on top, settled comfortably between Remus’ legs, propped up on his elbows. “You’re wonderful,” Sirius whispered, kissing Remus deeply.

Remus broke, a sob escaping his lips from where they were pressed against Sirius’. Sirius gently wiped away the tears as he continued to kiss Remus with everything he had. “Colour?” he whispered, wanting to be sure Remus hadn’t reached his limit.

“Green,” Remus choked out, more tears sliding down his cheeks.

Sirius didn’t have it in him to deny Remus any longer. He quickly slicked up his prick, the damn thing practically aching, and then pressed it inside Remus. Sirius hissed at the tightness around his cock, the walls constricting around him and nearly forcing him back out. He couldn’t help thinking smugly that this Benjy person couldn’t be that impressive if Remus felt like this. 

He stayed still for a moment, letting Remus adjust to the intrusion, continuing to kiss him. Any protest seemed to be gone now that he had Sirius inside him, his need now satisfied. Sirius withdrew slightly and then snapped his hips. Remus gasped, his hands flying to Sirius’ shoulders, digging his fingers in.

“No baby,” Sirius said, grabbing Remus’ wrists and holding them above his head, effectively pinning him to the bed. “You just lay back and let daddy take care of you.’

Remus moaned, any sadness now replaced with unbridled lust, his eyes going dark with arousal. Sirius lowered his hands, trusting Remus to keep them in place, and grabbed his arse. He pushed Remus up slightly and began fucking him deeper, knowing his aim was hitting perfectly by the noises Remus was making.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Remus cried out, his hands curling into the pillowcase for something to cling to. “Can I cum daddy?”

“Not yet baby,” Sirius answered, his breathing labored. He sped up his thrusts, pounding into Remus’ willing body, chasing his own orgasm. He came with a grunt, emptying himself inside Remus. He gently pulled out and lowered himself down onto his stomach. He lapped at Remus’ aching prick teasingly, knowing he was already on the edge. His balls were drawn up tight but he still had managed to keep himself from orgasm.

“Such a good boy,” Sirius purred, pressing sucking kisses to the base of Remus’ cock. “Does daddy make you feel good?”

Remus nodded, his body trembling with the effort not to cum. Sirius smiled and slipped his fingers inside Remus’ hole, now filled with his release. Remus let out a pained sound and turned his head, biting his biceps as Sirius fingered him.

“Answer the question,” Sirius said, rubbing his thumb against Remus’ perineum as his fingers continued to tease his abused hole.

“Yes daddy!” Remus cried out desperately. “You make me feel so good. Please daddy – I can’t – “

Sirius smiled and then swallowed Remus down, sucking him in earnest. Remus moaned wantonly, struggling not to push off the bed into the tight heat of Sirius’ mouth. Sirius began crooking his fingers, hitting Remus’ prostate on each pass. He wondered just how much Remus could take, how far he could keep him on the verge of orgasm before Remus couldn’t help but disobey.

Instead Sirius decided to take pity on him. He pulled off with a wet pop. “Cum for me,” he ordered.

Remus’ eyes widened and he let out a feral scream as his cock twitched and came, spilling all over his stomach and chest, some of it even landing as far as his neck and chin. He fell back against the bed, looking boneless, his eyes screwed shut.

Sirius eased his fingers out of Remus’ body and crawled over to him, taking Remus into his arms. “You were so good for me,” he praised, pressing kisses wherever he could reach.

Remus hummed, clearly unable to speak. Sirius wondered if he was even able to think. He looked so satiated. He noticed it didn’t take Remus long to fall back asleep, dozing quietly in Sirius’ arms.

***

Sirius had kept Remus company for a while but had quickly grown bored of just staying in bed and doing nothing. Instead he went for a quick run with Snuffles around the neighborhood and came back to shower. Once he was clean and dried, he went downstairs to make breakfast. He was just in the middle of feeding Snuffles a piece of bacon when Remus emerged, looking rumpled and his hair sticking up on one side. He was only wearing his pants and it looked like he had borrowed one of Sirius’ t-shirts. Sirius ignored the possessive ache that it caused in his chest.

“Look who decided to join the land of the living!” Sirius joked as Snuffles went over to harass Remus, wagging his tail and licking him.

“What time is it?” Remus asked, yawning and stretching.

“Almost noon,” Sirius said, fixing Remus up a plate of food. “This morning must have taken a lot out of you.”

Remus winced slightly and ducked his head down. “Yeah, well a shag and a cry will do that to you.”

Sirius watched him for a moment, taking note of the tense way Remus was standing. He had expected a bit of awkwardness after their first real shag but this felt like something else entirely.

Sirius sat down in his usual chair and looked over at Remus. “Come over here and kneel,” he ordered.

Remus looked caught off guard for a moment but then he was quick to obey. He walked over and dropped to his knees, making for a beautiful sight. Sirius glanced down at his lap and Remus took the hint, placing his head on Sirius’ thigh. The moment Sirius began playing with his hair, Remus sighed happily, his body relaxing.

Sirius ate his breakfast with his free hand, his other never straying from Remus’ curls. Once he was finished, he gently guided Remus upright with his back straight. Sirius brought the other plate of food over and began to feed Remus. Remus opened is mouth obediently, chewing and then swallowing everything Sirius gave him. He brought a cup of water to Remus’ lips and held it as Remus drank from it.

“Better?” Sirius asked, cupping Remus’ cheek once he’d finished his breakfast.

Remus nodded. “Thank you daddy.”

“You’re welcome, baby.”

***

Sirius had felt off all day, being back at the office, unable to touch Remus or show him the slightest bit of affection. It set his teeth on edge having to keep that professional distance. It didn’t help that Remus seemed to be out of sorts as well. He had gone out for lunch, which was bizarre because he hadn’t asked Sirius what to eat. He had just mumbled something about plans and then disappeared.

Sirius had been pacing his office ever since he’d left.

Remus didn’t return for a full hour and that in itself was odd. Usually he sat at his desk and ate whatever Sirius had allowed for the day, usually getting back to work within a half hour. Although he was allowed a full hours lunch break, Remus rarely took it.

When Remus finally did come back, it was clear he had been crying, his eyes red-rimmed and blood shot. He also couldn’t stop sniffling and it was driving Sirius to distraction. “Remus,” he said, opening his door. “Get in here…please.” He added after a moment, remembering they were at work and Remus' currently fragile state. 

Remus stood and walked solemnly into Sirius’ office. Sirius shut the door behind them and locked it. “What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to keep his manner as tempered as possible.

Remus wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “I broke things off with Benjy,” he said, his breath hitching.

Sirius pressed his lips into a thin line. “I didn’t ask you to do that,” he said, his voice harsher sounding than he’d meant it.

Remus’ jaw dropped and he blinked a few times in confusion. “Do you really think I would carry on with him after everything we’ve been doing? I feel like shite, Sirius. I cheated on him and I even told him as much and he was still willing to work things out.”

Sirius felt himself floundering. He wasn’t equipped to deal with this sort of thing. What he wanted to say was “thank god,” and shag Remus over his desk. But all he could think of was that Remus had given up someone that cared about him and it had made Remus miserable in response. It was clear he still had feelings with this Benjy or else he wouldn’t have been crying about it, right? Sirius had ended many a relationship without shedding so much as a tear.

“Then why didn’t you?” he asked with a shrug.

Remus flinched as if he’d been slapped. “You know why,” he said, his voice hard and almost accusing.

“No, I don’t,” Sirius said, staring Remus down.

Remus shook his head. “Because I’m not _worth _a second chance. I don’t deserve it and even if I did I couldn’t stay away from you!” Remus said, his voice getting louder as he spoke. “And you don’t even care that I did _all _of this for you! You unbelievable bastard!” Remus finished his piece, panting from the exertion, and turned on his heels to flee. 

“Stop!” Sirius commanded, his voice hard. Remus stopped in his tracks and turned back towards Sirius, tears already forming in the corners of his eyes. The sight of it almost broke Sirius’ heart. He walked over to Remus and curled his fingers into his hair, yanking it back harshly and baring Remus’ neck. “Is that how you speak to me?” he reprimanded him, sucking a mark onto Remus’ neck.

Remus moaned and shivered in response. “I’m sorry daddy,” he said, his eyes sliding closed.

“Colour?”

“Green.”

Sirius took Remus by the arm and led him over to his desk. He bent Remus over it and punished him quickly and efficiently, spanking him harder than normal for his harsh words. By the time he was done, his hand stung but he knew that was nothing compared to Remus’ backside. “Kneel,” he said, sitting down in his chair. Remus fell onto his knees, his head immediately taking its place in Sirius’ lap, mirroring the position they’d had in Sirius’ kitchen

Sirius clicked through some emails, marking the ones he had to reply to once he’d be able to type. He continued to pet Remus, massaging his scalp, and feeling the tension bleed out of him. It was something they had both needed. Despite knowing that it would be better to push Remus away, Sirius just couldn’t bring himself to. He was too selfish and he needed Remus with him.

Having Remus’ head so close to his bits made it extremely hard to concentrate on what he was doing. He’d been good for a while, focusing on getting Remus to relax, but now that he was pliant and happy, Sirius couldn’t help the arousal pooling low in his stomach. Remus, of course, took notice.

“Please daddy?” he begged quietly, nuzzling his face against Sirius’ clothed hard prick. “Let me help you.”

Sirius gave a quick nod and Remus deftly undid his flies, pulling his hard cock from the confines of his trousers. Remus licked his lips and then began suckling on the head of Sirius’ cock, his tongue running against the frenulum. Sirius hissed and slid his fingers back into Remus’ hair, pushing him down ever so slightly. Remus met Sirius’ gaze and took the hint, taking him deeper into his mouth.

Sirius couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips as his cock hit the back of Remus’ throat, disappearing inside his eager mouth. Remus’ eyes fluttered shut and Sirius gave his hair a slight tug, his meaning clear. _Look at me. _Remus obediently met Sirius’ gaze, his eyes on his as he pulled back, letting Sirius’ cock deep-throat him.

Remus was humming happily around his cock; the vibrations of it sending his nerve-endings alight. “Fuck baby,” he groaned out. “You’re too good to me. Your fucking _mouth_.”

Remus blushed prettily under the praise. He pulled off with a wet pop and began licking Sirius eagerly from root to tip, lapping and sucking at his bollocks. Sirius watched with rapt fascination as Remus worshipped his cock with his lips and tongue. He was sinful and playful and _much too good at it. _A possessive feeling curdled in Sirius' stomach, knowing Remus had been with other lovers, ones that hadn't been worthy of him. Sirius had never wanted to own someone so much before in his life.

Sirius guided his cock back into Remus’ mouth and began to cant his hips, fucking his face with need. He choked back a moan, doubling over as he came hard down Remus’ throat. When he was finished he sat back in his chair heavily. Remus licked his cock clean and then placed it carefully back into his pants, zipping up his trousers.

He pulled Remus up into his lap and undid his trousers, wanking him in quick, harsh strokes as he kissed him desperately. Remus gasped and came over Sirius’ hand.

Grabbing a tissue, he cleaned them both up and tossed it towards the garbage. He tucked Remus’ head into his neck and held him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Remus’ hair, wondering how long he’d get before Remus finally told him “red” and left for good.


	6. The Limits

Sirius moaned loudly, thankful that the floor was empty and no one was around to hear them. He had Remus bent over his desk, fulfilling a fantasy he knew Remus had. They could have just gone back to Sirius’ home and shagged there but he wanted to give Remus something he wanted.

Remus made such a pretty picture, his arse bright red from being spanked, letting him shed the stress of the day before the sex. His trousers and pants were pooled down by his ankles and his shirt had been discarded on the floor somewhere. He was resting on the desk on his forearms as Sirius fucked him from behind.

“Daddy!” Remus cried out, unabashed with his ecstasy. Sirius smiled to himself and used his fingers to spread Remus’ cheeks, letting one of his thumbs tease the rim of Remus’ stretched hole. Remus whined and threw his head back, panting loudly. “Oh! Oh!”

Sirius pressed his chest against Remus’ back and nibbled playfully on his ear. He rocked into Remus nice and deep, letting the head of his cock graze against Remus’ prostate. “You’re so sweet feeling, baby,” Sirius praised, pressing a kiss to Remus’ temple.

“Daddy,” Remus said, sighing happily. He turned his face in a soft request for a kiss. Sirius indulged him and kissed him hard, claiming his mouth the way he claimed every other part of him.

Sirius heard Remus’ stomach rumble and he couldn’t help chuckling softly at the sound. Remus turned red from the embarrassing noise his body had just made. Sirius looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was already an hour past the end of the work day. He’d been so enraptured by Remus that he’d lost track of time and now he needed to get his sub fed.

He kissed Remus’ shoulder and then between his shoulder blades. Gripping Remus’ hips, he pounded into him with need, making Remus cry out uncontrollably. “Daddy!” Remus shouted, his hands curling into fists on the desk. “I’m at my limit. I need it daddy, I need to cum. Please daddy!”

Sirius moaned, listening to Remus beg always had a dangerous effect on him. He could feel his cock already starting to twitch inside Remus’ tight body, threatening to spill. “Yes baby, cum for me.”

Remus reached back, seeking Sirius out, tangling his fingers in Sirius’ long hair as his orgasm shot through him, making him cum untouched. Sirius didn’t even mind the mess Remus made all over his expensive desk, his cum painting the dark wood with his release.

Sirius slammed his hips forward, burying himself as deep as possible inside Remus, pressing his forehead between Remus’ shoulders, his cock pulsing inside him as he released. “Fuck,” he said breathlessly, gently sliding out of Remus. He pulled Remus’ trousers and pants back up, fastening them for him, enjoying the idea that his release would make a mess in Remus’ underwear on the drive home. He then redid his own trousers, tucking himself back in.

“Come home with me,” Sirius said, turning Remus around and kissing him. He tried to make it sound as much like a request as he could. Sometimes it was difficult not to just order Remus around all the time, especially when he was so pliant and eager to please.

“I can’t,” Remus said apologetically, putting his arms around Sirius’ neck and holding onto him. “I won’t have any clothes for tomorrow.”

“I’ll buy you new clothes,” Sirius offered, locking his hands together on the small of Remus’ back.

Remus chuckled and shook his head. “You do that anyway.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Sirius asked, hating the fact that he was starting to feel a little nervous. He was always worried about overstepping with Remus, pushing him too far, becoming another Greyback in his eyes. It made Sirius cautious in a way he’d never been before.

Remus sighed and pressed their foreheads together. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.”

“I’m aware.”

“And we see each other at the office all the time,” Remus explained, taking a step back, creating a bit of distance between them. “So I…”

“What?” Sirius asked, biting his bottom lip. He hated feeling like this, out of control and uncertain. If it had been anyone other than Remus, he would have ended things by now. He didn’t like the way he felt with a new sub, trying and failing to be perfect for them. Sirius didn’t like making mistakes. But with Remus he had already cocked up quite a bit and Remus was still letting him back in. He was determined not to waste this valuable opportunity. “What is it?”

Remus ducked his head down, unable to meet Sirius’ gaze anymore. “I don’t want you to get bored of me.”

“Oh,” Sirius said in surprise, blinking a few times. “Remus – “

“I know this won’t last forever,” Remus said quickly, scratching at his arm. It was something Sirius had noticed he always did when he was nervous. Sirius also knew the large, angry scar that sat there from when Remus had attempted suicide. It made something protective twist in Sirius’ stomach. “But I want it to last as long as possible. You’ll get sick of me if we spend all our time together.”

“I won’t,” Sirius said, stepping forward and closing the space Remus had created.

Remus smiled sadly. “Sirius, you’ve had nine personal assistance in the last year. That’s nearly one a month. You get bored of people. So I’m going to go home and make you miss me just a little.” Remus leaned down and kissed Sirius softly on the lips before heading out of the office and collecting his things at his desk.

Sirius walked over and stood in the doorframe, watching him. “You’re wrong, you know,” Sirius informed him.

Remus turned around to look at him. “Oh?”

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, feeling a little defensive, like he had to justify himself to Remus. “It wasn’t always that I got bored. Sometimes it was that they didn’t share my…interests and things got awkward. I didn’t see a way out so I would fire them. It’s not all me fucking things up, you know?”

Remus dropped his stuff and came over to stand in front of Sirius. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, nuzzling his face against Sirius’ neck. Sirius felt some of the tension in his body ebb from the affectionate gesture. “I should have known better than to listen to office gossip. It’s just sometimes I feel like you know everything about me and I know nothing about you except rumors and hearsay.”

Sirius turned his head and pressed kisses along Remus’ jawline. “You know you can ask me anything, right? I don’t ever want you to feel like this is one sided.”

“Okay,” Remus said, tilting his face up and kissing Sirius tenderly.

“So will you come home with me?” Sirius asked again, hoping for a different answer. If it was still a no he would leave it, no matter how disappointed he might be.

“Yes.”

***

Sirius sat on the floor in front of the fireplace with Remus sitting opposite him. Remus looked beautiful with the firelight casting soft shadows across his face, making the flecks of amber in his hazel eyes prominent. Sirius wanted nothing more than to close the space between them and kiss Remus endlessly.

It was Friday night and Sirius had convinced Remus to spend the weekend. Snuffles was sitting on the sofa with his paws one over the other, panting slightly from his walk. Sirius and Remus had taken him for a walk around the grounds with both of them bundled up against the cold weather. Remus had looked adorable in a knitted beanie, his cheeks tinged pink from the cold, and his hair dusted with snowflakes. It took every bit of willpower Sirius had not to snog him the entire time. As it was he didn’t fare all that well, constantly pulling Remus into a kiss whenever Snuffles stopped to sniff something or finally do his business.

Afterwards they had shed off their coats and sat down in front of the fire to warm their chilled bones. Sirius had intended to cuddle up with Remus but instead Remus had sat across from him. Sirius had a feeling this meant Remus had something important to say and was gearing up to it. He kept opening his mouth to say something and then closing it again as if thinking better of it. The suspense was killing Sirius.

“I – I think if this is going to continue we should have an honest conversation about limits and all that,” he finally said, his hands laced together at his lap, his knuckles white from how tense he was. “I’ve been reading up on BDSM relationships because I feel like neither of us has been with someone who was properly into it, right? I mean based on what you told me the other night with people not really having the same interests as you. Maybe I’m making an assumption but at least on my end I’ve never had anyone to submit to and I think it’s important we talk.”

Sirius smiled as reassuringly as he could, wishing Remus wasn’t quite so far away so he could comfort him. “Would you like me to go first?”

Remus nodded emphatically. “Yes please.”

Sirius scooted closer, reaching out tentatively and ready to pull back if that’s what Remus wanted, taking Remus’ hand in his own and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Okay, well I’ve never disciplined anyone with anything harder than a paddle. So if you wanted to try anything more intense than that, like a whip or a crop, we’d have to be in a much better place. You’d have to have a real safeword to use so that there would be no mistaking it if I went too hard. I had no interest in any kind of blood play or scat play or watersports. I have absolutely no intention of mutilating your body or scarification. No knife play. In general, I’m more into sensory and endurance then pain play. If you need that relief or that catharsis, I will give it to you, but in my scenes they tend to go more towards delaying orgasm and testing you. That’s all I can really think of at the moment as you kind of sprung this on me.”

“I’m sorry – “

Sirius put his hand up to stop him. “No, it’s good. It’s important. If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know, okay?”

Remus looked like he was about to cry in relief. Sirius gave his hand another encouraging squeeze. Remus swallowed audibly and then began to speak with his head down. “Yeah, um, no knives. Definitely no knives.” Remus closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head as if to clear it. “Or blood. I’m not big on blood. Or any body fluids other than cum and spit, honestly. I don’t want to be humiliated. Or at least I don’t think I do. Everything sounds so intimidating when you read it on the internet but I feel like maybe with you it wouldn’t be quite so scary. If that makes any sense.”

Sirius felt warmth bloom in his chest like it was radiating from his heart outwards and heating him all the way through. He knew he would keep the distance between them because this was a Serious conversation – with a capital S. But Remus just looked so soft and trusting and cute that Sirius couldn’t help crawling forward to close the distance between them and capture his lips. He kept the kiss soft and sweet at first and then pressed Remus down into the floor and deepened it.

Remus gasped quietly and Sirius took the opportunity to invade his mouth greedily, his body pressed down fully over Remus’ thin frame. Slowly, his fingers feather light, he skimmed them down Remus’ sides until he got to the hem of Remus’ jumper. He rucked it up and then pushed it the rest of the way, breaking away for a moment to let go over Remus’ head, and finding his way back to Remus’ pliant lips.

He slid his hands up Remus’ forearms and laced their fingers together, holding Remus down. “Mmm daddy,” Remus murmured between kisses. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Sirius wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotions that crashed over him at Remus’ words. He looked down at Remus, still beautiful and soft in the warm light of the fire, his eyes open but his pupils dilated, a small smile playing on his lips. “Restez avec moi,” Sirius whispered, capturing Remus’ lips once again and kissing him harder, more insistent, and more desperate. Remus moaned and wrapped his legs around Sirius, urging him to rut against the hard line of Remus’ erection through his trousers. “Je ne veux pas te laisser partir.”

They stayed like that for a long time, snogging and rubbing against each other, not enough to get either of them off but sweet all the same. Sirius finally broke the kiss, letting his lips drag across Remus’ jawline, licking the hollow of his throat. He released his hold on Remus’ hands and continued his quest down, stopping to suck and nibble on Remus’ nipples as his fingers deftly undid Remus’ flies and shoved his trousers and pants down.

“Daddy,” Remus groaned, sliding his fingers through Sirius’ hair. “You’re going to spoil me.”

Sirius grinned and pressed kisses along Remus’ ribs. He really had to do a better job of making sure Remus was eating right. He was so fucking thin and Sirius wanted to see him looking healthy. He knew Remus ate like shit when it was out of Sirius’ control, living off Ramen noodles and cereal. He wouldn’t mind seeing Remus with a big more of a tummy, all soft and cute.

Sirius straightened up in order to get Remus’ trousers off of him. He licked one long, torturous stripe up Remus’ cock – red and swollen with need – and Remus arched prettily underneath him. Sirius slid his hands up the backs of Remus’ thighs and pressed them up towards his chest, bending Remus in half. He knew Remus was expecting a blowjob but instead Sirius aimed lower. He got himself comfortable on his stomach and began to lick gently at Remus’ hole.

Remus moaned above him and Sirius couldn’t help grinning. He caught Remus’ puckered hole between his lips and gave it a little suck. Sirius swirled his tongue around, watching it clench and then flutter under the contact, Remus making the most delicious noises like he was dying. Eventually Sirius was able to work his tongue inside and Remus howled so loud it frightened Snuffles who went running out of the room in surprise.

Sirius pulled back and rested his forehead against one of Remus’ cheeks, unable to keep from laughing. He felt Remus’ body begin to shake as he also giggled. Sirius pressed a kiss to of Remus’ cheeks and then sunk his teeth into the left one, leaving a mark. Remus hissed in surprise, bucking off the floor, the mood suddenly back on track.

Sirius rose gracefully to his feet. “I’ll be right back. Hold the backs of your thighs and don’t move. I want you just like that when I get back.”

“Yes daddy,” Remus said, gripping his legs and keep himself bent in half, assuming the same position Sirius had just had him in.

Sirius nodded approvingly and slipped out of the room. He found Snuffles in the kitchen, sitting on his doggie bed and chewing a rope bone as if nothing had happened. Sirius snorted and went upstairs to the bedroom to get some essentials for what he had planned. The journey was a bit difficult with his erection but he managed to get back just fine.

Sirius walked back into the living room and found Remus still in the same position, his legs shaking slightly from keeping them elevated, the muscles in his stomach rippling from exertion. Sirius smiled warmly and knelt down on the floor. He cracked open the tube of lubricant and poured some into his hands, rubbing them together to warm it up, and then slipped two fingers inside Remus’ greedy little hole.

Remus exhaled loudly and threw his head back at the penetration. “Oh fuck daddy.” Sirius chuckled and pressed soft kisses along Remus’ inner thighs as he crooked his finger just right and began playing with Remus’ sweet spot. Remus eyes flew open and he gasped. “Daddy! Daddy, daddy, oh my god, no! Daddy!”

Remus was quivering, his fingers digging into his pale thighs and leaving marks. “What colour, baby?”

“Gg-green,” Remus stammered out, his eyes rolling back in his head. His cock was weeping heavily against his stomach, giving little twitches from the prostate massage.

“Now, about the humiliation thing,” Sirius said conversationally, giving Remus a moment of respite to catch his breath. “What if I made you hump my leg like a dog? What if I said the only way you could have my cock would be to get yourself off by rutting against my leg like an animal.”

Remus chewed his bottom lip and Sirius could tell he was picturing it in great detail. His already flushed cheeks turned impossibly redder and he glanced away, unable to meet Sirius’ gaze. “I suppose I could do that if-if it was something you wanted.”

Sirius gave Remus a look that was unbelievably fond. “I just want you to know yourself, Remus. If you want to explore something we will. If you don’t then it’s off the table. It’s as simple as that.”

Remus blinked a few times and finally met Sirius’ gaze. “Really?”

“Really,” Sirius told him, ducking down and licking at Remus’ rim, stretched around his fingers. “I just want to take care of you.”

Remus grunted lowly and reached out blindly for Sirius, his fingers brushing against Sirius’ temple, managing to keep his leg up without supporting it. “I like the way you take care of me.”

Sirius felt that same warm feeling in his chest and promptly ignored it. He slipped his fingers out and guided Remus onto all fours. “No cumming until daddy says, right baby?”

“Of course, daddy,” Remus said, lowering his chest down so his arse was in the air indecently. Sirius loved it.

He poured more lube onto his fingers and pushed three inside Remus, bending over him to lick between each of the vertebrae on his spine, paying particular attention to a little cluster of freckles halfway down that were absolutely adorable. Sirius just wanted to taste every part of him and he felt almost drunk on it. He curved his fingers and started to tease Remus’ prostate again. “Good boy.”

“Oh! Oh!” Remus cried out, clawing at the floor in front of him. “Daddy! Oh fuck – oh fuck!”

“Cum for me, baby,” Sirius purred into Remus ear, playfully licking the shell of it.

Remus whimpered and began fisting his cock hard. It only took a few strokes and Remus was coming all over the floor His hand feel limply to his side as his body was wracked with his orgasm, making Remus twitch and shiver through it.

Sirius took the opportunity of Remus’ blissed out state to slide the cock ring around Remus’ softening cock and his balls. He made sure it was securely on there for the next bit. “You did so good baby,” Sirius cooed, stroking his free hand down Remus’ back.

“Thank you, daddy,” Remus said, his voice slow and soft from his orgasm.

_Don’t thank me yet, _Sirius thought with a wicked grin. He grabbed the anal beads he’d gotten from the bedroom and began to slick the first one up with lube. It went easily into Remus’ already stretched hole. “How does that feel, baby?” Sirius asked, slipping the next two in easily enough. They were about to get to the bigger ones that would fill Remus up so nicely.

Remus had his hands buried in his curls, his head turned to the side as he panted heavily. “Daddy,” he moaned, tugging on his hair. “Fuck!”

Sirius grinned and lubed up the next bead. It was met with a bit of resistance but finally popped inside Remus. “You’re doing do good, baby. Getting so nice and full. Are you going to be a good boy and take the next one? It’s bigger than the others.”

Remus groaned loudly as the next bead was pressed against his hole and he could feel how blunt it was. Sirius petted Remus’ back to sooth him to get him to relax. Remus’ hole fluttered and then accepted the next bead in as Remus grunted.

“Oh baby, you look so beautiful,” Sirius praised, pressing kisses to Remus’ shoulder blades. “You have no idea what it does to daddy to see you taking these so well. You’re being such a good boy. I’m so proud of you.’

Remus flushed down to his chest and Sirius couldn’t help finding it endless endearing. “Thank you, daddy,” Remus said softly.

Sirius reached between Remus’ legs and gave his cock a few strokes. He was already half hard from the beads inside him no doubt shifting and stimulating his prostate. Sirius continued to stroke Remus, his hand stick with lube, coaxing him to full hardness. “Can you take the last one, baby? Can you do it for me?”

“Y-yes,” Remus said, trembling against Sirius. “Anything for you, daddy.”

Sirius smiled against Remus skin and removed his hand from Remus’ cock. He lubed up the final bead and slowly worked it into Remus’ body. Remus made a noise like a dying whale as he was filled up with each of the six beads. “Oh baby, you’re perfect,” Sirius murmured encouragingly. “You did so well.”

Sirius admired Remus’ arse, the bite mark he had given him earlier, the ring sticking out of his hole. He looked so good that Sirius almost wanted to take a picture for posterity. Still, this wasn’t a sight he was ever likely to forget and he could have Remus like this again any time he wanted.

He decided to leave those beads in Remus’ tight little hole for a little longer and do something about his own painful erection. He undid his trousers and pulled his cock out, giving himself a few strokes to abate his need. “Come here baby, daddy needs you.”

Remus hissed with each movement as he turned around to face Sirius, the beads shifting inside him as he did so. He looked wrecked, his face bright red and his breath coming out in harsh pants. Sirius gently stroked his fingers through Remus’ curls. “What colour, baby?”

“Green.”

“Good,” Sirius said, shuffling forward and pressing his cock to Remus’ lips. He smeared a bit of precum over Remus’ pretty mouth and then fed Remus his cock. Remus moaned, his gaze flickering up to meet Sirius’, knowing just what Sirius liked during head. Sirius bit back a moan of his own and began rock his hips, pushing his cock deeper into Remus’ eager mouth. “Good boy. Make daddy cum and he’ll let you cum again even though you’re so greedy.”

Remus flushed, looking so pretty with his rosy cheeks and his lips stretched around Sirius’ cock. Sirius’ eyelids fluttered as Remus’ tongue worked the underside of his prick. It felt so good and Sirius had been on edge for so long. He gripped Remus’ hair and began fucking his face, knowing Remus would be able to take it.

“Fuck,” Sirius groaned out, feeling his balls tighten up. It only took a few thrusts into Remus’ hot, wet mouth and his cock was pulsing his release down Remus’ throat.

Sirius dropped heavily onto the floor with his eyes closed and waited for his heart to stop racing. Remus crawled over and pressed kisses to Sirius’ face. “Daddy, please,” he whimpered in need.

Sirius opened his eyes and stripped off his shirt before pulling Remus into his lap. “You’ve been so good baby,” he said, sliding the cock ring off. “I want you to cum all over me.”

Sirius settled one of his hands on Remus’ hip, the other firmly grasping the metal ring sticking out of his hole, and gave it a firm yank. Remus dropped his head back and screamed as the beads were pulled from his body and his cum shot in ropes from his cock, landing on Sirius’ chest and stomach.

Remus collapsed on top of Sirius, his body still shaking from the power of his orgasm. “Thank you,” he whispered, pressing kisses to anywhere on Sirius he could reach. Remus had gone practically boneless, his body limp from exhaustion.

Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’ temple. “Look at the mess you made,” Sirius chided softly. He slid his finger through Remus’ release and brought it up to Remus’ mouth. Remus sucked Sirius’ finger gently, tasting himself and making a little face. Sirius chuckled and kissed Remus deeply, chasing that taste with his tongue. Remus hummed happily and submitted to the kiss.

Once he was done giving Remus a thorough snogging, Sirius lifted Remus up and carried him upstairs to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and held Remus against him, his arm looped around Remus’ waist to keep him on his feet. They stood in Sirius’ expensive shower, the high water pressure easing both of their aching bodies.

Sirius carefully rubbed his body wash over Remus’ skin, enjoying the idea that Remus would smell like him. Tomorrow would be Sunday and then it would be back to work on Monday. It would mean going back to being careful around Remus, not being allowed to touch him in that familiar way, pretending they weren’t lovers even though most people in the office already assumed it. It would mean popping the bubble of intimacy that the weekend had allowed. But at least for now Sirius was allowed to touch as much as he wanted and pamper him.

Remus moaned, his head tipping back, as Sirius worked the shampoo through his curls. “You’re so good to me,” Remus murmured, his eyes closed under Sirius’ gentle affections.

“That’s because I’m your daddy,” Sirius said softly, letting the water rinse through Remus’ hair and wash away the shampoo. “That’s what I’m supposed to do. You can have whatever you’d like. Just tell me what you want, baby.”

Remus opened his eyes and turned to face Sirius. Suddenly the sleepy-soft Remus from before was gone as his eyes bore into Sirius’. “I just have one thing.”

“Okay.”

Remus took a step closer and buried his face in Sirius’ neck. He brought his arms around to encircle Sirius’ waist and hug him tightly. “Promise you won’t hurt me. Not on purpose. Not if you can help it.”

Sirius brought his hands up to rest on Remus’ back. He knew the expanse of scars that covered his skin and the idea of them made Sirius so unbelievably angry and sad. But he didn’t even see them anymore. All he saw was Remus. How much he cared and treasured him. All he could think when he saw Remus was _mine. _Sirius brought one of his hands up and tilted Remus’ chin so their lips could meet in a tender kiss. “I promise.”


	7. The Truth

Looking in from the outside it would seem like nothing much had changed between Remus and Sirius at all. They still bickered and argued over Sirius’ speeches. Sirius had still failed to get Remus interested in what his company actually did. They still shamelessly flirted with each other.

Remus was certain only he would notice the subtle changes between them. Instead of eating alone at his desk, he now ate in Sirius’ office, both of them pouring over containers of Chinese food as they worked through lunch. Only Remus would know that Sirius often placed his hand on the small of Remus’ back, a sure and comforting weight of ownership. And of course only Remus would know that he went home with Sirius almost every night after work to be thoroughly shagged through Sirius’ expensive mattress.

They always went in separate cars to keep anyone from getting too suspicious. Sirius would pay for Remus’ Uber while Sirius went home in that posh car of his. Remus would get dropped off at the front gate and then slide into Sirius’ car when it pulled up.

On nights where Remus didn’t go home with Sirius, he would spend the next day in a fog from lack of sleep. It was as if his body was so attuned to Sirius that it no longer knew how to power down on its own. Sirius often took notice of Remus’ sour moods and it usually meant Remus getting spanked over Sirius’ desk until he cried, followed by Sirius leading him over to the sofa to hold him until he settled.

He felt like such a brat, acting out whenever Sirius didn’t have time for him, as if he had nothing to occupy his time except Sirius’ attention. He understood that Sirius had an entire company to run and sometimes that meant late nights and pouring over paperwork. It was making Remus feel like an addict, unable to think about anything except Sirius and the way Sirius made him feel. Although Sirius never made Remus feel bad or pathetic for needing him so much, it didn’t keep Remus from often feeling that way.

That’s why even though he loved his job, Remus lived for the weekends. Not that Sirius didn’t usually have work to do on the weekends as well, but it meant free time and Sirius’ attention for almost two whole days. Remus felt like he spent his weekends floating in a heavenly space surrounded by Sirius. They had yet to spend a weekend apart and so Remus was constantly spoiled all throughout Saturday and Sunday. He’d begun bringing some staples of his wardrobe to Sirius’ since he spent so much time there, even though Sirius was happy to continue buying him ridiculous designer outfits.

Remus woke up on Sunday morning feelings good. He shifted slightly and moaned for two reasons – one was his morning wood brushing against the mattress and two was because the movement made Sirius’ tongue dip into his hole. “Good morning, baby,” Sirius hummed between Remus’ cheeks, keeping them spread with his thumbs.

“Daddy,” Remus mewled, pressing back greedily.

“You were filthy last night, baby,” Sirius cooed, letting his tongue swirl around Remus’ pucker. “Daddy needs to clean you up a little.”

Remus groaned and began humping the mattress in need, his cock achingly hard. He expected the spank but it still made him jerk in surprise when Sirius’ hand connected against his skin.

“None of that, baby,” Sirius scolded, spanking Remus three more times in quick succession. “Behave yourself.”

Remus let out a whine and stilled himself, letting Sirius continue his onslaught. Remus had his hands digging into his hair, trying his best not to move, Sirius’ tongue driving him insane. Remus felt his whole body trembling from the exertion. “D-daddy, please!”

“What would you like, baby?” Sirius asked, licking Remus from his perineum to his hole.

“I’d like your cock, daddy.” Remus could feel Siirus smile against his skin before Sirius sat up and grabbed the lubricant from the nightstand. He poured a liberal amount over Remus’ hole and then pushed two fingers inside. Remus gasped at the intrusion. “Daddy, that’s not your cock.”

Sirius chuckled. “Just making sure you can take it.”

Remus huffed indignantly at the implication, as if he hadn’t spent three hours the night before with a variety of toys and his daddy’s cock up his arse. With his hands still fisted in his hair, he let Sirius tease him, first with two fingers and then three. Sirius knew just where to press against Remus’ sweet spot and it had Remus babbling a mixture of curse words and begging.

Sirius wrapped his other hand around Remus’ cock and began to wank him, his hands moving in tandem. He covered his hand in lube so it was sticky and sweet and made Remus ‘ cock leak heavily between his legs. “Daddy, daddy, I can’t –“

“Cum for me, baby,” Sirius said softly.

Remus knew when Sirius let him cum this soon it usually meant he had something special in mind that meant a scene long and torturous that left Remus as a pile of goo. Still, Remus felt his back arch and he came all over the sheets, his eyelids fluttering closed as Sirius milked his cock until it was so sensitive that every stroke had Remus shivering. “Daddy, please!”

Sirius finally removed his hand from Remus’ cock and slipped a cock-ring on. “Beautiful,” Sirius cooed, easing his fingers out of Remus’ arse. Placing a pillow under Remus’ hips so that Remus’ arse was higher in the air, he gently slid his hand over it, humming in approval at how he looked. He slicked up his cock and eased it inside Remus slowly, inch my torturous inch until he was fully seated, his bony hips pressed against the swell of Remus’ arse. He placed his arms around Remus as if holding him and began pressing kisses to the nape of his neck.

“D-daddy?” Remus called out questioningly. “Aren’t you going to fuck me?”

“Shh,” Sirius said, kissing along Remus’ shoulder. “All in good time baby. For now you’re going to keep my cock warm until I decide to fuck you.”

Remus whined and pressed his forehead into the pillow. He felt his internal muscles clench and unclench around Sirius’ cock nestled inside him. Sirius’ cockhead was just barely pressing against Remus’ prostate, driving him crazy.

“Don’t move,” Sirius scolded, nipping at Remus’ shoulder with his teeth. “Just stay still and enjoy it. This is what you were made for, baby, this is where you belong, with your daddy balls deep inside your sweet little arse. Just stay still and let daddy take care of you.”

Remus moaned and nodded, his cock already swelling against the pillow. After a few minutes he relaxed, the tension leeching out of his body the longer he was wrapped up in Sirius’ arms. He started to space out, floating and drooling slightly on the pillow under his head as he became nothing more than a warmer for his daddy’s cock, his own pleasure feeling very far away.

“Good boy,” Sirius praised, licking at a patch of freckles between Remus’ shoulder blades. “So perfect for your daddy. You make me so happy.” Sirius canted his hips a few times, his cock dragging against Remus’ prostate as he grinded into him, making Remus’ eyelids flutter.

Remus felt Sirius shift above him and then one of his arms was pulled free from under Remus. He pawed around in the nightstand for a moment and then his fingers were pressing against Remus’ lips. Remus opened obediently and began to suck on them, surprised to find the taste of chocolate on his tongue. His eyes were fuzzy but he noticed a jar of chocolate sauce on the bed. Moaning, he sucked greedily on his daddy’s fingers, licking them clean.

“Mm,” Sirius hummed, doing a few small thrusts into Remus’ body. “That’s it, baby. You’re going to eat all the chocolate daddy gives you and then he’ll fill you up with cum. Do you understand, baby?”

Sirius slipped his fingers out so that Remus could answer. “Yes daddy. “

“Colour?”

“Green.”

“Good,” Sirius said with a nod of approval. He traced Remus’ lips with his thumb for a moment and then dipped his fingers back into the chocolate.

Every time Remus licked Sirius’ fingers clean, Sirius would reward him with a few thrusts into his body, always aiming perfectly to press against Remus’ sweet spot. It was indulgent at the same time as being maddening. Remus was shuddering, his cock leaking heavily onto the pillow under him. He was so turned on he thought he might go insane with it.

“You’re doing so well, baby,” Sirius murmured, sucking on Remus’ earlobe playfully. “Do you like daddy’s treat for you?”

Remus moaned and nodded, unable to respond with three of Sirius’ fingers in his mouth, pressing against his tongue. He felt barely coherent anymore, his cock aching for release and his hole filled with Sirius’ impressive cock. 

Finally after what felt like a lifetime, Sirius removed his fingers and put the cap back on the jar. Remus began to sob in relief because that meant Sirius was going to fuck him. Sirius smiled and wiped the tears away with his non-sticky hand. He lifted himself up until he was kneeling behind Remus and then eased out until just the tip was inside. Remus gave out a keen of protest and got a spanking on each cheek for his trouble.

“Spread yourself open, baby, let daddy see you.”

Remus reached back and spread his cheeks. Sirius moaned, letting the head of his cock tease Remus’ rim. “Please!”

“You’re so perfect like this,” Sirius praised, slamming his cock into Remus’ body and making Remus groan as if it had been pulled from the depths of him. He grabbed two fistfuls of sheets as Sirius began to fuck him in earnest. Sirius grabbed him by the hips and pulled him up until he was on all fours, pounding into him over and over, making Remus squeal as his hands dropped from his arse. “Daddy, please!” Remus begged over and over as if those were the only two words he knew anymore.

“Oh sweetheart,” Sirius gasped out. “Oh baby you always feel so good when you’re taking my cock. Such a good boy for me.”

“C-can I cum, daddy?” Remus managed to bite out as Sirius continued slamming balls deep inside him, making Remus’ vision white out with every hard thrust to his prostate. “Please? I need to cum so bad.”

“But you already came, baby,” Sirius reminded him. “You wouldn’t be so greedy as to want two orgasms when your daddy only had one, would you?”

Remus let out a whine as he realized Sirius wasn’t going to let him cum. His cock was so hard it was bordering on painful and the need to finish was insatiable. He was beyond speech, his mouth hanging open and all he could do was suck in air and let it out in little pathetic whimpers.

When Sirius finally pushed home inside him and his cock began to throb and twitch with his release, Remus immediately began to cry again in relief. Sirius gently eased out of him and gathered Remus into his arms, holding him and kissing him sweetly. “Are you alright, baby?”

Remus nodded, still unable to speak.

“You did so well, baby,” Sirius praised, kissing Remus on the forehead. “You looks so beautiful like this, all fucked out, your cock still hard for me.” Sirius reached down and gave it a few teasing strokes. Remus gasped and pressed into his hand with need, the movement making some of Sirius’ cum slip from his hole. “Oh baby, you’re making a mess.” Sirius slid his fingers through his own release and pushed it back into Remus’ hole.

Remus’ eyes widened in surprise as Sirius kept his fingers inside, fucking Remus with them, massaging his prostate. Sirius grinned wickedly and captured Remus’ lips. Remus could do little more than pant against his mouth, his body overworked and pulled taut.

“Daddy! Daddy no!” Remus said, thrashing against Sirius.

“Do you want me to stop, baby?” Sirius asked, stilling his hand inside Remus.

Remus chewed his bottom lip for a moment, debating it and then shook his head. “Green,” he said, swallowing thickly.

“Oh baby, you don’t know how happy you just made me,” Sirius told him, kissing him deeply.

Remus sighed and melted against the mattress, letting himself be toyed with for his daddy’s pleasure. It was excruciating and his cock was nearly purple. He started to space out again, giving himself over to Sirius completely. It wasn’t until Sirius was pushing his legs up and pressing back inside him that Remus realized it must have been a while, long enough for Sirius to get hard again.

“Cum whenever you need to, baby,” Sirius said, bending Remus in half and fucking him deep. “Daddy wants to see you touch yourself.”

Remus mewled and reached down, fisting his own cock hard, tears prickling his eyes in relief. With a few hitching breaths, Remus felt his cock twitch in his hand and then he was coming and coming, despite the cockring - all over his chest and neck until he passed out.

When he came to, Sirius was still inside him, fucking him shallowly as he waited for Remus to regain consciousness. Remus groaned, his body clenching around Sirius. “Daddy, please.”

Sirius nodded in understanding and sped up his thrusts. “Keep begging, baby. I want to hear it.”

“Please,” Remus said softly. “Daddy please. I need your cum. Need it to fill me up. Please daddy I want another load of your cum inside me.”

Sirius moaned and his entire body shuddered as he came, his face twisting in ecstasy.

When he was finished, he collapsed on top of Remus, boneless and exhausted. He did a few feather-light kisses along Remus neck as he eased out of him. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Remus was barely coherent as Sirius lifted him up and carried him to the bathroom. All he could register was Sirius holding him, a washcloth sliding over his sensitive body, surrounded by the heat of the water. His head lolled to the side, resting on Sirius’ shoulder as they sat back to chest in the tub. “You’re so good to me,” Remus whispered, reaching up and tracing the cut of Sirius’ cheekbone.

Sirius took Remus’ hand and pressed a kiss to the center of his palm. “Je t’aime incroyablement.”

Remus smiled. “You’re always doing that,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the underside of Sirius’ jaw. “You slip into French after sex.”

“Do I?”

“Yeah,” Remus said in amusement. “It’s very sexy.”

Sirius chuckled and put his thumb under Remus’ chin, guiding him up into a kiss. “I have a house in France,” he said softly. “We could go there sometime, have a little vacation.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yeah right, when do you ever take time away from work?” he admonished teasingly.

“I could,” Sirius said, grabbing his ridiculously overpriced shampoo and working it through Remus’ hair. “Now that the latest update is finished with I don’t have all that much to do.”

Remus hummed and tilted his head back as Sirius massaged his scalp. “You always say that and you’re always bombarded with phone calls. I’m starting to think you don’t know what having much to do means.”

Sirius gave his hair a slight tug in retaliation for the comment. “I could though,” he said thoughtfully, cupping some water in his hands and rinsing Remus’ hair. Remus groaned in satisfaction and went pliant against Sirius. “Take a week off from work, fly you to Paris, have an actual vacation.”

“You realize that if we both take a week off from work everyone will know it’s a sex vacation,” Remus reminded him, carding his fingers through Sirius’ hair and then letting their lips meet in a sweet, lingering kiss.

“Who cares?” Sirius said with a shrug. “I’m the boss.”

“I care,” Remus said, sitting up and turning to face Sirius. “You might be above it all but I’m not. Those are my peers and even though everyone _thinks _we’re sleeping together no one has any proof. I don’t want to be a joke.”

Sirius frowned and immediately Remus felt himself shrinking under that look. “So having sex with me is a joke then?”

“Sirius…” Remus said, dragging the name out. “You know what I mean. You have a reputation and if people find out then I’m just your latest conquest. “

“Is that how you think of yourself?”

Remus shook his head, unable to answer.

“Then it shouldn’t matter what your coworkers gossip,” Sirius said firmly. “As long as we both know the truth.”

Remus swallowed thickly and looked away, letting his finger drag through the bubbles to distract himself. In all honestly he didn’t know the truth. He had no idea what was going on between him and Sirius. It didn’t feel like just sleeping together but that could have been the nature of the sex they had. Of course everything felt more intense because it was. But that didn’t translate to it meaning more on a deeper level – on a non-physical level.

“Hey, come here,” Sirius said, reaching out and tugging Remus back to him. “Maybe it was a stupid idea.”

“No, I – “ Remus ducked his head down, burying his face against Sirius’ neck. “I’d love to go to Paris with you. It would be a dream.”

“You’re not just saying what you think I want to hear, are you?” Sirius asked, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Remus’ back.

Remus pressed a kiss over Sirus’ pulse point, feeling his head beating under his lips. Like everything with Sirius, it would be so easy to fall into the intimacy of it. Be distracted by it. Let himself believe that this was something like love. “No. Paris sounds wonderful.”

***

Remus checked his pocket for the twentieth time to make sure he had his phone. Sirius had gone to get them some coffees and Remus was waiting by their gate. He still couldn’t believe that Sirius was whisking him away for a week in Paris. He knew it meant a week of Sirius speaking a whole lot of French and he could only hope he could live through it without turning into a puddle of lust. At least it wouldn’t be the way he normally spoke French, words whispered quietly in the afterglow of sex.

Remus adjusted his bag on his shoulder and wondered what was keeping Sirius. He glanced around for any sign of him, tying to remind himself that Sirius was just getting coffee and would be right back. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to check it.

**Long line at Starbucks. Be back asap. **

Remus breathed a little easier after reading that. He found an empty seat and sat down, scrolling through his phone. He had a few texts from Mary and Marlene that he promptly ignored as they were most definitely just fishing for information about why he wasn’t at work. Alice had texted him to make sure he was still alive and he texted back to confirm considering that he had been at Sirius’ all weekend and was now on the airport Monday morning.

“Remus?” A voice called out questioningly.

Remus glanced up from his phone and immediately felt his entire body go stiff in panic. He looked around for someone to help him but obviously no one was paying him any attention.

“It’s great to see you,” Fenrir said, a predatory smile spreading his lips. “What’s it been? Two years now? More? You look fantastic.”

Remus gripped the edge of the seat he was in, feeling completely trapped. “Y-you can’t – “

“Oh that little business with the restraining order?” Fenrir said, dropping his bag down and coming to sit down next to Remus. “I know those quacks they had look you over talked you into that.”

Fenrir put his hand on Remus’ thigh and Remus felt his eyes slip closed. The scar on his arm throbbed as if freshly cut. “Please –“

“You always did sound so pretty when you begged, Remus,” Fenrir said, his lips so close to Remus’ ear that he could feel his breath.

Remus jumped to his feet and scrambled away. “Leave me alone or I’ll call the police,” he managed to say with every bit of courage he could muster. With that he took off running, not stopping until he had pushed his way into a bathroom stall. He fell to his knees hard and immediately emptied the contents of his stomach. When he had finished dry heaving, he sat with his back against the stall wall, shaking with tears and his head in his hands.

He was vaguely aware of his phone buzzing in his hand. He managed to unlock it but couldn’t see what Sirius had written through his blurred vision. He just texted back bathroom, hoping Sirius would understand and be able to find him.

The door to the bathroom opened and Remus tried to listen over his gasping breaths. “Remus?” Sirius’ voice called out.

Remus had just enough strength to unlock the stall and push it open so Sirius could see him.

“Oh baby,” Sirius said softly, gathering Remus up into his arms. “What happened?”

“F-Fenrir Greyback,” Remus choked out, clinging to Sirius. He was still hyperventilating, unable to take a deep breath. “H-he was here. He approached me.”

“That bastard,” Sirius growled, tightening his arms around Remus. “I’ll kill him. I’ll call the fucking cops on him and have him arrested for breaking the terms of the restraining order.”

Remus whimpered and buried his face in Sirius’ neck.

“Oh baby,” Sirius said again, pushing his fingers into Remus’ hair. His voice remained gentle but took on a firm edge to it. “You have to breathe for me, okay? Come on, Remus. Breathe in and hold it for one, can you do that?”

Remus breathed in and counted to one in his head before releasing a shaky breath.

“Good, now breathe in again and hold it for two.”

They continued on, counting and breathing and clinging to each other until Remus’ breathing evened out and he went boneless in Sirius’ arms. “I’m sorry,” he said in a small voice.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Sirius said, pressing a kiss to Remus’ temple. “Should we cancel the trip?”

Remus let out a sob and shook his head. He wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. Not anymore.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Sirius said, continuing to pet Remus’ hair in a repetitive motion of comfort. “We’ll always have Paris.”

Remus let out a startled laugh and after a moment Sirius was chuckling too. “Thank you.”

Sirius pulled back and wiped the tears off Remus’ cheeks. “You’re welcome, baby. Do you want to go home?”

Remus nodded, leaning in and kissing Sirius tenderly on the mouth.

“My home or your home?” Sirius asked against his lips.

“Your home, if that’s okay?” Remus answered nervously. He didn’t trust himself to be alone right now. Not when he felt ripped apart and laid bare. He felt so raw and no one had a hope to settle him right now except Sirius. The idea of being parted from him made Remus want to panic all over again. Thank god his stomach was empty or it would be churning. 

“Of course it’s okay,” Sirius said, smiling reassuringly at Remus. “Just tell me what you need and it’s yours.”

“You,” Remus said, folding himself back into Sirius’ arms. “I just need you.”

***

Remus lay in the back of Sirius’ car with his head in Sirius’ lap. Sirius’ driver had the partition up to offer them some privacy as they made their way back to Sirius’ home. Sirius was humming what sounded like “As Time Goes By” as he stroked his fingers through Remus’ hair. Remus listened to the low and sultry sound of Sirius’ voice, soothing an ache deep down inside him.

_Fuck, I really do love him, _Remus thought, letting his eyes slip closed.

He just had no idea what to do with that information. It was just so bloody inconvenient.


End file.
